Misunderstood...

A while ago I had the revelation that parenting was like taking care of someone in a natural disater. You don't want FEMA showing up with guns, barking orders, making the situation worse... you want someone to come in and speak with calm authority and a gentle plan. But now that my Girl is going to be 4 I find that not everything that upsets her is because of some major crisis or disaster. Sometimes it is the result of me not choosing my words properly... The other day, she was sorting some awesome magnet toys by color when we had to get in the car to go to grandma's. She got her magnets on their board and climbed into her car seat. Here is a close re-telling of how the conversation went:

"ok, please put your magnets down on the seat so I can buckle you in."
"ok, not yet, i'm finishing."
"sweetheart, you can finish later"
"noooo nowwwww!!!!!" and so the tantrum and the struggle to get buckled began. About half way thru trying to strong arm her into her arm straps, it hit me. She thought that when I said later, I meant, well, later. So I stopped what I was doing to her, she yelled and was angry for a bit and then I began again.
"Sweetheart, do you think I will not let you have your crispy-cookies (that was the game with the magnets, i guess) back?"
"mmmmm"
"Well, what I meant to say was that as soon as you are buckled you can have your magnets back."
"mmm"
I went on to explain to her, after she was buckled with her magnets back safely in her lap, that sometimes mommy might say something that is good but it might not come out sounding like that. I told her that if she didn't like the sound of what I'm saying to ask me what the plan is. She seamed satisfied with that and then let it go. When we got back into the car to go home, she put her magnets on the seat next to her and said "I can have them back later when I'm buckled, right mommy?"
This morning, she asked me for a morning cartoon and I said no, not right now, maybe after lunch. She looked at me and said "What's the plan?" so I explained the simple version of my very busy day and came to the part where she could watch a movie after lunch. Well, she thru her fit anyway, and I sat with her and held her hand while she was upset. When the crying ended, she seemed to have forgotten about the movie and hasn't asked me since.

It is hard to be new to this world. She has such a greater understanding of the universe than anyone knows, but the language she possess isn't always enough for even the simplest communications. I try to take it one thing at a time, but it is so easy to get frustrated and bossy. I just keep telling her I love her no matter what and that even if we are sad today, tomorrow will be better.

18 Year Old Love

I recently went and saw the new Twilight Movie 4A with my dear friend, Pippi. It was fine, I guess. I'm honestly not a big fan of the movies, up until I saw the new one I think I had only ever seen the very first one. I will admit to reading the books. I'm not really a fan of those either, but at least they were books so I got to make up my own images in my head. I could go on and on about the lameness of the movie but the point is this: I am so glad I did not marry the man I was in love with at 18. Not because I didn't love him, or because we would have turned out horribly and destined to fail and all that but because I never would have found this One. This man. This silly, frustrating, sleeping-while-the-kids-do-god-knows-what man.
It is hard knowing that I love him no matter what. It is hard knowing that this man actually means so much to me that I refuse to put financial comforts before Us. Much to the frustration of my mother. It means that there are no ultimatums. No "If you don't make tons and tons of money I'll take the kids and move in with my parents!" Because a) if the 3 of us plus Isis tried to live there again it would suck like nothing else and b) I don't want to separate from him over money. I can't say "Since your'e not making the money I'll go get a job and put the kids in day care." Any job I would get (without a great deal of luck) would not pay me as much as hourly daycare for 2 kids. So, I'd have to go back on food stamps. Where now we are barley scraping by and we take no assistance from the government, if I were to go back to work, we would have to go back on government assistance. And also, my baby boy is still nursing!

That's right, the Little Baby Man Child has been nursing for 16 months! That is 2 months longer that with Little A... Oh! it's almost her birthday! Little A's Fourth Birthday. I think we will be having another Butterfly Party. Last year's was a Pink and Golden Tea Party and I guess this year's is going to be a Butterfly Princess Party. I'm really excited and will soon be trolling the internet and Pintrest for good Little Girl Birthday Ideas.

That's all the word vomit for now. I missed you. I feel like it has been forever. I still believe in the revolution. I love the world.


also, i miss melinda. but she'll be home soon!

It has been a long time since I sat down to write... 

The button on my track pad was not functioning for months... I blame the offspring. It probably got some sort of kid-goo in it. It seems to be working now which is good and brings me to the first in a long line of reasons why I have been neglecting this blog. 

I have not been able to place to windows on my screen so I could see a movie and type at the same time.

and now the baby is crying.

Huz leaves a lot. He is always on the way somewhere. Tonight he is on the way to Brazil to work with some Australian footballer, 60 minutes and Rohan Marley. I don't have any idea what those 3 things have in common. Some times, it is easier than others. Last time he left was the most peaceful good by I can remember... this one, not so much. His flight out got bumped forward because of the Quantas walk out. (good for them i guess, i hope the workers got what they needed to make their jobs better. huz says they already have great service...)So instead of having all day tomorrow to say good by to poppa they basically went to bed seeing him and they will wake up not seeing him. We tried to talk to them about it, but Little B is still so very baby-ish and A is only almost-four so they don't really understand... Although, I think Little A has a much better grasp on what is happening than we give her credit for...

This time is hard for me too. We had sort of a rough time this visit. He was only home for 5 days in between 2 week plus trips. That isn't enough time for the family to come back together and fall back into sync. Last time he was home was almost a whole month and it was amazing. We were really able to connect with each other and reconnect with the kids.

Any way, I wrote this while waiting for his laundry to finish, as soon as it is dry he's out the door.

More Politrix

People say "Occupy Wall Street is anti capitalist. Therefore, they are socialist."

I say "Are those my only two options?" I mean really. I LOVE my stuff. I can't say it enough. I heart the internet. I love having different stuff than other people. My mom loves stuff more than I do, and that is fine. Some people like more, some are satisfied with less. There has to be a middle -ism that accounts for the needs of the community, both local and global, and allows the business (including the owner, CEO, board, employees) to be successful. What I would love to see would be a company, say Starbucks, that gives it's employees a raise when it raises it's prices. If the cost of coffee beans goes up and they have to raise the price, ok, but if the cost of coffee beans goes up and the CEO takes home a record bonus while the baristas have to go out and get a second job... well, that's fucked up. In the future I would like to encourage these bonusees (is that a word? bonus receivers?) to take the money and divide it up amongst the employees. 

People say "Tax the rich MORE!" or "Tax the poor!" or "flat tax everybody!!!!"

I say "Why can't we all be taxed the same?" no, really, i don't get it... why can't every one be taxed the same percentage of income or something? 37% is still 37%...?

People say "american kids are lazy, this movement feels entitled."

I say "maybe, but we also know that manual labor is worth more than what most farms pay and we would love to work... for a wage that we can be proud of." I know tons of people who would LOVE to work on a farm, if that farm paid them enough to put food (much lulz) on their table and pay the bills. People who would be proud to make cars in America, if they made enough to buy one of their made in America cars. Why is that so hard to believe? It shouldn't be so hard for my husband and I to find work doing what we love. I would love to go back to work if the child care options in my community didn't cost me more than half I make as a waitress. I'm not saying that all jobs deserve the same wage or that all workers work the same or anything... There just needs to be more options for good work in this country than nurse, social worker, service, IT...

3 Proposals for Occupy Mendocino

1) write some sort of pledge to encourage politicians not to accept large corporate donations. like "I (insert name here) pledge to stand with the people of the USA against corporate greed and privileges by vowing not to accept more than (insert appropriate dollar amount here) from any major, non-local corporation." or something like that.

2) boycott corporations present in our community (safeway cvs starbucks) till we see the employees get a raise that is proportionate to the net profits of said corporation.

3) create a supply line of local vendors, craftsmen, farmers, truckers and the like to keep other major occupations well supplied and supported. let's not distract local media from this global issue by hogging our own little spotlight. let everything we do highlight the importance of this global movement. also, if possible lets raise money for local film, photog, journalist to travel to some of the other occupations and get GA facilitator training and info for our small, revolutionary community.

Spinspiration's Woolly Wednesday! yay! I Love Spinning!!!

Yay! I went from spinning absolutly nothing for months to spinning over 500 yards in less than a month! I didn't count (or remember) all the singles and the 500 + includes like a bajillion yards of 2 ply. If that made any sense you deserve some kind of award. Thank you for reading.

Any way. The Boonville Fair just happened and it always has an amazing fiber festival! Jess took me and the kids to see the animals and so I could "check out" the fiber bestival. I even said "Jess please don't let me break my second $100." But with the entry and the food and the ride tickets, I sorta had to. so I did. and it was soooooo worth. It comes with a mini story... I have always been on the quest for a great yellow in yarn and it is always hard to find. I think yellow must be a hard color to get right. Melinda once told me she needs more yellow in her life. And so there it was, a beautiful maroon and yellow and purple braid of Polwarth roving. Just holding it I knew it was perfect. I have only ever spun various marino wool and silk, this polwarth is amazing...

ok, long break of about 2 days from writing that^^^

any way, I spun a lot this month. I picked up and knit something for the first time in a long time. I've been very pre-occupied by Occupy Wall Street. Little A is confusing me right now, I feel like I am on the verge of failing as her mother... but I sure do love her and that counts a whole bunch.

I wish I had pictures of my glorious yarn, there is a blue/purple merino blend 2 ply... tee hee. so soft and wonderful. and there is lots and lots of it. I'm not sure what to do about measuring it after I wash it. Should I get a swift and re niddy-noddy it and count that? or do I just have to go by weight? I wrote all the numbers that I remembered down on our white board but then we erased it to plan our top secret move to...?  Then there is that wonderful Polwarth. Yellow and maroon and wonderful. Even if I had a camera I doubt I could get the colors right. and it is so soft. and i love the way the color changes. Ooh! the color change, that reminds me. I don't want to ply the beautiful yarn back on itself and ruining the color change but I also don't want to knit it as a single... can I ply it with white yarn or... I dunno, I have a lot of it maybe I'll... play!