My life here, in this school bus, with J. is maddening. I feel so out of place when I'm off the bus doing anything. How can people go about life as if there were nothing wrong? Why am I so alone? Why are there 6 billion people on this earth and not a single one finds me interesting. How can you tell how many people have visited the site? If there's any one out there...
When I say film, I don't mean the long strip that comes in reel, or even necessarily the finished product shot solely on the strip but the art of the movies. Maybe it's because I only shoot on digital and I feel insignificant for having never worked with the original medium but to me the term film encompasses both the new technology and the old. It's the way the finished movie looks, you know? Film, this great visual media is the greatest thing I've come across in a while. It seems to take such a skilled eye to get all the clips to flow along nicely, to get all the frames lined up and matching the music and all that. J. has such a gift for it. I sometimes envy him for his skill and drive. He knows exactly what he wants to do in this life/reality and he knows where he's going. Even when he gets backed up against a wall he stays clam, he knows what to say or if he doesn't he does know how to stay smooth and handle it.
I watch lost all the time, these days. Since I got my wireless back I've been on abc.com every day catching up on a fictional reality. What is it about these shows that draws us into the shows, their characters, their worlds, their... islands. The only cool thing about the set up is that while I'm watching this priceless programing on J.'s work computer, I can sit at my Laptop (which is providing the feed for his computer) and make a new post and look at other people's blogs. All this lost wandering among cyberspace has left me fealing just a little empty. I have to ask myself why I'm here writting instead of out at the club with J. while he performs, showing my support, helping him to network and all that jazz. I'm smart and ok looking so why am I such a wall flower? I judge me.
Myspace will control everything from the way spend our money to the way we make friends to the way we move and travel. Nothing will or can be done with out the myspacers linked to you knowing about it. We're all out to capitalize off this great tool, myself included, but very few of us are talking about the immediate privacy repercussions. With every body on the network and now all these mobil up-grades any one who cares can find us where we sit (I'm here on my wireless laptop with the rest of you). Are we walking into a trap that will lead us into a matrix like existence? Is that even a possibility? Am I just one of those crazy paranoid freaky people? I guess it's a possibility.
All this html code stuff is amazing! I wish I could find some one who knows what it means and could stand all my silly questions. I'm an inspired pupil when studying with a good teacher. I just want to learn something that will make me valuable.
So the movie is about a cartoonist wannabe detective who might have solved some huge california serial murder case that was open for years. It was pretty alright. Some of the characters were sorta like "why are you involved?" The reason this is my first post is because I have not written anything yet. You see, I am lonely. And bored. Atlanta is a great place to be for my husband's business but for me... well, it's hard for me to make friends. I'm awkward and I stare and I talk too much or too loud or too little. I'm not attractive but I'm not unattractive, I just sort of am. People are nice to me but sometimes I can't figure out why. Atlanta is a great place to be for my husbands business but for me there's not much. It's like I'm just sorta stuck at the studio and I only ever get out when he needs me to drive him to a gig. Wait- that makes him seem like he makes me stay in. I wish I had reason like that, one that at least makes sense- even fucked up sense. It's more like I'm scared to go out. In this day and age there is no room for fear. Especially nonsensical fear like mine. I don't know where it comes from because I used to be so outgoing. All I want from life is to live it. Somebody, help me find the path out of my shell and into the world!.