A Walk at the Ocean and No Camera.

I walked on the MacKericker board walk today with Isis before the storm broke. Even as we started back for the car, the wind was already trying its best to blow us away. Isis kept trying to make a break for it and get to the car as quickly as possible. I started thinking about what a blessing it is to have a safe, warm place to go to at the end of my walk. I thought about what it would be like to need to be able to build a shelter and find food and not freeze to death because it is fucking cold as ice balls. But I had to tear my thoughts away from survival, because I did not need to build a shelter, or find food. I get to enjoy the feeling of the ice cold rain on the few exposed parts of my skin. I lost my breath when the wind hit my face several times. Bliss. 

Quite a few stops were made as I rummaged thru my bag to grab the phone, only to realize it had been eaten by the Dunes a few days before. The interesting thing about these stops, though, was that each time had been to take a picture of the beauty that is the Pacific Ocean. And every time I realized there wasn't a camera I paused and took in the scene with more focus. The colors, the way the waves came into the bay in backwards C. The waves were big, rolling, steel blue, cold looking. Beautiful.

We spent the day watching movies and participating in all my mom's christmas traditions. But in order to attempt the Martha Stewart Christmas my mom loves, I've had my 2 little stringing popcorn and cranberries, glueing popcorn and cranberries, glittering... lol. Tons of fun making new decorations this year for grandma's house. 

It has been a long a day and this post has taken me all day to write. I feel at peace today, I am praying for the moment of awakening at 3:15am pacific time. Something needs to change. I love you.


PD Eastman and Limbing Trees

do you like my hat?
i do not like that hat.
good bye.
good bye.

Been feeling very creatively challenged since landing at my parent's house. It's hard to just get in my zone here, we have to be very careful not to sprawl out much here. wouldn't want to get finger prints on the armchairs. So instead of knitting, I have attempted to become a weaver. Lenorre over at the Mendocino Yarn Shop had a knitters loom she wasn't using and when I told her my spinning wheel was all packed in storage in Las Vegas for real, i'm still sorta crying about it, she told me I could borrow it! yay! But, that hasn't been as inspiring as I'd hoped. I've already finished one huge ass scarf for one of the grandma's and I started a bit of a smaller scarf for my mom, who likes to complain that I never knit her things. And even though it is easy, and it is playing with yarn, it still hasn't been enough. 

Which brings me to the solution of the last few days... I've been clearing redwood suckers and under brush from the property. Starting with the trees and stumps that make the best forts, I've been going out for a little while every day with some heavy-duty clippers and my little hatchet and cutting limbs. I like to tell myself that by cutting the low branches and clearing away some of the dry(ish) sticks and bushes, I'm helping prevent a fire. in north-coastal california. in december. But really, I just need to be out of the house. When Huz is not here, the kids come with me. Everyone gets their own tool, a little rake or shovel, and the wheel barrow and we truck off to the day's target area. But then my man comes home and likes to say awesomely helpful things like: "it's too cold" or "it's raining" or "he's only 2! i think that a double sided hoeing tool with prongs is not safe for him and i'm taking it away!" And so lately, I've been out on my own. I don't like work. I don't like manual labor or jobs that make me sweaty or itchy. But for whatever reason, cutting the branches back has been exactly what I needed.

Pray for some yarny action soon, though, my shoulders hurt.

Also, the sand dunes at my phone.



Days and Days and Back to the Beginning.

"We made it. We pulled up to my parents house last night, before the big stores had closed in town. so like, 8. I drove the whole way. 889 miles, me. and we made it. No one died, or was left. Not even the dog."

So I wrote that the first night after we got to my parents house. We got here a few days before Thankstaking, and I think that must be about week now that we've been here. We're trying to settle in, and effect my parents' routine as little as possible, but that, as I'm sure you can imagine, is not going well with 2 very awesomely active Littles running all over. Thank my lucky stars that The ManChild is still nursing and napping, or these few (long/short) hours we have to glean quite time from would never happen. KaBean is quite wonderful at accepting the quite time volume limits, but her attention span is not as long as The ManChild's nap span... But that's to be expected. She is awesome.

A lot has happened, and I really want to tell you about it, but my mother is trying to tell me how I'm lame.


In Case You Wanted to do Something Fun...

Go look at the pretty pictures on my Instagram profile...

because they're awesome, and I'm lazy.


Word Vomit and Gratitude Sunday

I'm loving watching these Littles of mine grow. This week has been hard for us. Almost all their toys and games have been boxed up, furniture is being moved, and we're out of catsup because I refuse to buy anymore food we won't use up before we leave. i'm mean like that i guess. but really, what am i supposed to do with a twice used bottle of catsup? And with all this unpleasant change has come outbursts and temper tantrums and disagreements... and about half of that is me. in my defense, i was also sick AND it was my Shark Week. But despite all this, I see my kids and their perfect moments... the ones that happen all day long but maybe I'm not paying enough attention and I miss it. Just now, I finished nursing the ManChild and gently got up to pee, "I'll be right back," I said, "I'm just going potty. Sissy will hold your hand." I wasn't gone but maybe a moment and when I came back, they were still holding hands, fast asleep. 

I know I've been neglecting this silly little blog. Which is super lame of me, I have brilliant ideas to share all day long. But to be honest, blogging and moving sucks. I feel like I complain about it all the time and no one likes a whiney blogger. but SHIT! moving totally blows. didn't i just pack this godam crap? I've been so caught up in not-organizing that there are no knitting pictures... heck, there's been literally and absolutely zero knitting. And I know at least some of you dear readers come for the yarn. don't pretend you don't. There also haven't been any kid pictures either really. Well, my camera hates me. It says asshole things like "no, i won't focus on that awesome texture," and "sorry, sweetheart, but we all know your kids/knitting/dog/those mountains are cuter blurry/dark/bright/not in the shot." ok, maybe the last one is my fault. And since getting hit with the world's hugest over use fee on my data plan fuck you att, I've been pretty anal about my phone usage too. So yay! blog with no pics whoohoo!!!! And I don't know why else anyone would read this silly totally awesome blog. Except maybe for the diapers. I promise I have an awesome cloth diapering a toddler/potty training post coming up... if I ever actually sit down to write it. Oh and we've been reading awesome things, so I have a post in my head for both Ginny's Yarn Along and Unschool Monday... But I have to actually write those too... shit.

But today, what I do have, is Gratitude Sunday with Taryn. Her posts are always so magikal, I wish everyone would go over and read some of them. Also, she and her husband, Jeff, make the most wondrous buttons and things out of reclaimed wood and wood the find on their property, as well as salves and ointments, that they sell at their Etsy shop. 

Oh well. I'm so grateful for everyone who reads this blog and all my ridiculous word vomit. It would be cool to hear from some readers, if any care to comment, what types of things you'd like to hear more of... give me some ideas. 

I'm so grateful that my family is letting the kids and I stay with them for a few months while Huz gets some more things finished.

I'm soooo grateful to Snoop Lion for hosting my man's first EP. I'm grateful that Snoop let Huz use his studio, I'm grateful to DaeOne for making the beats all original, right there during the sesh. 

And most of all, I'm so grateful to my man. I'm thankful that I get to see his face on and off thru out the months. I'm thankful for 6 years and 2 beautiful babies. he still thinks i'm hot, even when i don't. I'm thankful that his job is structured to give us time apart to miss each other, lol. 

thank you air, thank you blood, thank you fire and water and body. today was an awesome day.


It's Sunday.

One week from today, or tomorrow, we will be leaving Las Vegas (oh cheryl...) and heading back to NorCal. I am super grateful that I have parents who welcome us when things don't go the way we were wishing. Huz and I are starting to formulate a Grown-Up plan for our money and credit and where we want to see ourselves in 5 years. I've never really done that. The future is a scary place, I much prefer the Now.

My mother has been gifting me my cell phone for years now, so long that I am grandfathered into, not the awesome unlimited everything plan that AT&T used to have, but the data plan that is so small they no longer sell it. LOL. It's always worked great for me, until last month. Last month, I magically went over it close to twice and this month, in 4 days, I somehow used 3 times my usual amount!!! without having the apps or data even turned on! so, because of this, I am going to try and make friends with my camera again. See if I can get her taking decent pictures to post here. wish me luck!


Harry Potter, Knitting (or the major lack thereof), and Moving

It is amazing how I go about my life being so proud of the fact that really, as a family, we don't own much. It's been about 6 months since the last time I packed and I was feeling super stoked that during our time in Vegas we haven't acquired a lot of new stuff. But then the boxes started piling up and the shelves began emptying and the small furniture is being stored in in the "kid room" and I noticed... "there sure are a lot of fucking boxes." Where did all this stuff come from? What even is it? Most of my fiber and fiber related tools and books have been packed in their own boxes so what, exactly is in the rest? Turns out... We have more toys and "home"items than we thought. The ManChild's belly cast takes up almost its own box, and then there are the blankets, the keepsake kid art, the toys... almost one whole box dedicated wholly to the kids play kitchen and accessories. Art Supplies and my scant fabric collection and acrylic paints, glue guns, ribbons, sequins... Turns out we have quite a few very large stuffed animals and special hand made, gifted pillows. When we started packing there was much grand discussion of "trimming down another layer," and "keeping only our favorite/ most meaningful paintings..." It's true that I've come up with a few more donation bags but really, there isn't a big difference from last time. Well, maybe there will be... this photo doesn't contain any clothes or kitchen items, there are still a few boxes of toys and house detritus to be added

Also, since packing and being with the kids thru this move has become forefront in my daily thought, my knitting has fallen behind. I have finished some things, I think I've started some others... There will be pics too, and a run down of my best most yarnish instagram pics soon. and by soon i mean when things start to settle.

True story: I'm slowly falling in love with the whole Harry Potter Movie Version... As a book devotee, I never thought it would happen, but I kind of love it. It's been a Harry Potter-a-thon during the packing. wish me luck


Packing.... Again....

It's true. We're on the move again. We've spent almost 6 months here in Las Vegas and it's time to go. We knew we weren't going to stay here thru the holidays. We had hoped and prayed that it was time for us to move out to the East Coast. We were ready to look for our "back-east-farm" but thankfully, that isn't to be... if we had left on our time line, we'd have been somewhere on the road on our way to Maine when Sandy hit. So instead we find ourselves heading back to the Bragg, back home. It isn't what we had planned but as my dear and beloved Huz keeps saying "Everything happens for a reason, Baby."

Packing up this house is interesting... We really haven't acquired anything since moving out here, we always knew our stay here would be temporary. For some reason, packing this time doesn't seem as urgent or organized. Honestly, this time around, I am calmly(ish) putting random things in random boxes and taping them shut. Books and toys and unused kitchen items. Towels and clothes and scarves and diapers and kid art and a big huge belly cast... my life in boxes. It's an interesting sensation.

I packed my yarn stash in 2 parts. The first part, the majority of the stash, is going into storage...  All of the yarn that doesn't have a concrete project idea has been stored, as well as most of my spinning and knitting books and magazines. All of my spinning wool, except for my drop spindle project, has been either spun or packed... mostly packed. Also in these 2 large tupperware bin are all of my swatches and my stash blanket. 

I'm really sad packing up my stash this time, I don't honestly know when I'll be spinning again... We have a goal in mind of where we want to see our family in 6 months, but in our experience, things rarely go to plan. at all. ever. Sorry about the dark quality of these pics, I think it was late at night when I finished...

And the Second Stage of my yarn packing: The Traveling Stash.... A collection of my drop spindle and other tools as well as a huge stash of my hand spun, pattern books, magazines, project yarn, and all of my needles and notions.

I'm very proud of my fiber packing skills this time around, although I am more than heart broken to leave my wheel behind in storage, but there really isn't anything I can do to stop that. 

I hope you all have a safe and fun Halloween!


Medicated & Motivated Suicide Prevention

A cause close to my heart... You can read the full summary of this project at it's GoFundMe page so instead I'm going to share how it effects my family. 

A few years ago my man's sister killed herself, with anti depression meds just months after the birth of her 5th child, her long awaited only girl. At the time I was pregnant with the ManChild, I don't know how much I blogged about it, it was kind of a big deal. During that time, I saw my life partner, the strongest man I've ever know, break down. He fell apart. We thought his mom was going to follow his sister and we were pregnant with number 2... he was a mess. After the dust settled, he took a step back and really started looking at how this society, with more than enough help from the pharmaceutical industry, perpetuates suicide. With more and more of our young people turning to drugs, legally or illegally obtained, willingly or unwillingly taken, suicide is becoming increasingly common. At this point, the only way he can really get to schools to reach out to the youth is by speaking at schools that still have assembly budgets and those schools are unlikely to be in low income areas. With help from donors and sponsors and maybe even some of the folks who read this silly little blog, we can start building a real curriculum, touring schools that have been thru severe budget cuts, and community centers in areas hit especially hard by the increase in suicides. Any thing you guys can do to help us so that my husband can keep doing what is important to him is incredibly blessed. 

Thank you. 



well ok, thanks bloggerstaff. looks like i'm back. woot


what the hell blogger. fix my stats board and don't be lame or i swear i'm going to wordpress. @bloggerstaff- fix the problem.


Morning, and a Very Odd Rant.

Well, it wasn't supposed to go that way. Yesterday, I mean. It didn't go the way I had hoped... maybe shark week is starting? fuck. I blame the coffee. Although Huz did go out and spend $600 on an iced coffee for me. I'm hosting knitters pre-thrift-crawl today and I have to find mugs, go to the store for coffee and cream, and tidy up. Actually, the mess* isn't too bad right now, according to my standards*, so really we just need to pic up some stuff and shut some doors. *see blog title. 

KaBean got up about 10 minutes after us, which will be great on my dream farm, but now she's bored and watching My Little Pony. Which is actually not bad. and it's hella punk rock on instagram right now? once upon a time, punks used to be hard core. They made they're own shit out of old black denim and saftey pins. They sewed their own skinny pants with dental floss and wore bondage belts and but flaps, because sewing crotches is harder than pant legs. Brewed beer in the garage. 


To Start the Day

~Today starts with no coffee I drank it wall yesterday. Even though I knew there was none left and I knew that I'd be a full dollar short after paying for shipping confirmation on the 2 pretties I just sent out in the mail. A skien of handspun for one of my favorite online peeps and ... erm- cough... a surprise for one of my favorite in real life people. 

~Today will see us at the "big playground" as soon as KaBean wakes up, gets dressed, and eats something. I think we found desert sage growing near our favorite playground, but I'm pretty sure it's part of the landscaping and may therefore be coated with pesticides. If it is not wild or if it looks like it is probably maintained with some sort of chemical cocktail I will leave it there and move on... If not, I will be gratefully clipping a branch and thanking the plant and earth and neighborhood for such a special gift. The bundle that Huz brought out with us on our move is almost gone. We burn it like crazy here, love sage. So it's time to get some more... speaking of which, i need to find my red string!

~Today finds Huz and the ManChild awake before 7am. I know I know... someone out there is probably like "that's nothing my fill-in-the-blank gets up at insane-ungodly-hour!!!" But still, this is my story and 7 am hurts my brain sometimes. Instead of chilling in bed nursing, the ManChild is currently racing his matchbox cars across the steamer trunk that came over the ocean with my great great grandmother's people from some no longer in existence European country. A very loud game for a momma who woke up before 7am to no coffee. 

playground here we come.


*say in zombie voice* YYYYYYAAAAAARRRrrrrrnnnnnnnn

I'm getting that feeling again where I want to pull out my whole stash and all my patterns and everything on Ravelry and reorganize my que. With all the new roving and fiber that's come into my life I know I'm going to have yarn to spare in a few months. Plus I now that I'm trying to find a place to put the new Malabrigio, I am beginning to think maybe I still have a lot of yarn. Which is the opposite of what I had in mind when I decided to stop buying fiber... Tools only I said, no new fiber... yeah right. Well, the ManChild is awake, off to nurse and snuggle.



There has been knitting by the pool.

A Little Bit of Wooly Wednesday, Ginny's Yarn Along, and Unschool Monday All Rolled Into One.

Today's post is a blog roll mash-up. A little bit of Spinspiration's Wooly Wednesday because I have been really loving spinning and found myself surrounded by delicious roving with no idea how it happened. There's a bit of what I'm working on mixed with what I'm reading for Yarn Along over at Small Things. And then what I'm reading and how it inspires my family's unschool adventure for the Owlet's Unschool Monday... even thought it isn't monday.

I find myself standing in my yarn room looking around at all the different wooly choices. I was recently blessed by a box of 16oz pin drafted roving, some Noro, a Manos top braid, a copy of Taproot, Mendo Homemade Blackberry Jam and Vanilla, and special gifts for the Littles. My beloved friend Lily went to the fiber fair in my place (she was going any way, but she made time for wool) and totally scored for me. No really. Big win. I'm not sure if it was intentional, but she found the hottest yellow orange dorset x merino with firestar... it's like spinning the sun. I was enchanted by it right away, at the same time, I thought it kind of odd, sending me this hot sun while I live in the desert. Then I realized it will be perfect during our first winter in Maine. Perfect. I've spun about half a bobbin of teeny little singles that I'm going to wind around card board and keep tight in the bag, ready for the dark and cold. Then another 7oz of alpaca / bamboo silk / Corriedale in a sort of fluffy purple. I'm really excited about this one, I haven't spun with any of this blend and that makes me a little nervous, but man, it's gonna be fun. Both from Morro Fleece Works and both pin drafted roving both on my floor being drooled over right now. 

Those, plus the Manos braid she stuck in, plus the sparkly stuff and that gorgeous angry ocean grumpy rainbow braid from Wanda, plus the stuff I brought with me, plus all the undyed heaven I've been lugging around with me.... well, let's just say, I never need to buy roving again.

Meanwhile, I'm feeling a lot of pressure from various fronts regarding the education of my kids. The more I read about unschooling, the more interested I am in just letting the kids be kids. I feel like moving to Maine is going to plant us right in a community that supports that idea. The issue of Taproot (thanks lil, even huz is reading it) that I have my hands on right now supports that idea. I am aware that things are rarely as awesome as they seem from outside, or, in this case, from the other side of the continent. It will be cold, and we will be outsiders. KaBean told my mom today via skype that she "has concerns about moving" but is "really excited to have a garden where it snows." Huz and I are ready to switch our struggle from 'explaining why daddy is always gone getting money for the family to live' to 'growing a garden and raising some chickens and at least trying to be a little self sufficient'... As I read thru Taproot and share ideas with my man, I see people who have already walked this path. People and families who are trying and failing and succeeding to live on their own, in a community of people who want the same thing.

Yarn and Children. Love.