Word Vomit and Gratitude Sunday

I'm loving watching these Littles of mine grow. This week has been hard for us. Almost all their toys and games have been boxed up, furniture is being moved, and we're out of catsup because I refuse to buy anymore food we won't use up before we leave. i'm mean like that i guess. but really, what am i supposed to do with a twice used bottle of catsup? And with all this unpleasant change has come outbursts and temper tantrums and disagreements... and about half of that is me. in my defense, i was also sick AND it was my Shark Week. But despite all this, I see my kids and their perfect moments... the ones that happen all day long but maybe I'm not paying enough attention and I miss it. Just now, I finished nursing the ManChild and gently got up to pee, "I'll be right back," I said, "I'm just going potty. Sissy will hold your hand." I wasn't gone but maybe a moment and when I came back, they were still holding hands, fast asleep. 


I know I've been neglecting this silly little blog. Which is super lame of me, I have brilliant ideas to share all day long. But to be honest, blogging and moving sucks. I feel like I complain about it all the time and no one likes a whiney blogger. but SHIT! moving totally blows. didn't i just pack this godam crap? I've been so caught up in not-organizing that there are no knitting pictures... heck, there's been literally and absolutely zero knitting. And I know at least some of you dear readers come for the yarn. don't pretend you don't. There also haven't been any kid pictures either really. Well, my camera hates me. It says asshole things like "no, i won't focus on that awesome texture," and "sorry, sweetheart, but we all know your kids/knitting/dog/those mountains are cuter blurry/dark/bright/not in the shot." ok, maybe the last one is my fault. And since getting hit with the world's hugest over use fee on my data plan fuck you att, I've been pretty anal about my phone usage too. So yay! blog with no pics whoohoo!!!! And I don't know why else anyone would read this silly totally awesome blog. Except maybe for the diapers. I promise I have an awesome cloth diapering a toddler/potty training post coming up... if I ever actually sit down to write it. Oh and we've been reading awesome things, so I have a post in my head for both Ginny's Yarn Along and Unschool Monday... But I have to actually write those too... shit.

But today, what I do have, is Gratitude Sunday with Taryn. Her posts are always so magikal, I wish everyone would go over and read some of them. Also, she and her husband, Jeff, make the most wondrous buttons and things out of reclaimed wood and wood the find on their property, as well as salves and ointments, that they sell at their Etsy shop. 

Oh well. I'm so grateful for everyone who reads this blog and all my ridiculous word vomit. It would be cool to hear from some readers, if any care to comment, what types of things you'd like to hear more of... give me some ideas. 

I'm so grateful that my family is letting the kids and I stay with them for a few months while Huz gets some more things finished.

I'm soooo grateful to Snoop Lion for hosting my man's first EP. I'm grateful that Snoop let Huz use his studio, I'm grateful to DaeOne for making the beats all original, right there during the sesh. 

And most of all, I'm so grateful to my man. I'm thankful that I get to see his face on and off thru out the months. I'm thankful for 6 years and 2 beautiful babies. he still thinks i'm hot, even when i don't. I'm thankful that his job is structured to give us time apart to miss each other, lol. 

thank you air, thank you blood, thank you fire and water and body. today was an awesome day.

Knitting Update.

Here's what I've been working on:

The EZ Baby Surprise Jacket. I'm concerned that I might run out of yarn (Lorna's Laces Worsted in 912 Kedzie, lot 1747... in case you have it). Hopefully, I'll be able to find more soon.  This is what it looks like so far, I added a panic thread, in case I have to pull back to incorporate a new dye lot or something. I think I marhed the pattern where I place the thread, so I don't something twice, or not at all. It Looks really funny to me but ...

This is the drawing I've been presented with in the book. Helpful.

The Paternal Twin Shawl A is coming along quite nicely. The rows are getting longer, at this point there are 11 repeats in each row, then there will be 12 then 13 until I run out of yarn. Honestly, I love it. I was frustrated with everything, wait till you see what I have next, so I picked this back up and finished a whole section in 1 day.

It turns out that you can use a gram scale to make sure you have the same amount of yarn per Mitt. LeAnne from knit night brought her scale (and cupcakes!!!) so I could divide my hand spun for the Jane Austin Mitts. LeAnne asked me if I had my own digital scale last week and I looked at her for a long moment before responding "no...? I'm not a drug dealer...?" The whole table started laughing so hard I thought we would get kicked out. LeAnne replied, "neither am I, they are useful to knitter too!" huh, learn something new every day!

I seriously was having way too much fun being the human swift. The yarn kept pulling off and then I'd laugh and look a little bit manic. It was awesome.

All my balls on LeAnne's scale. I'm trying to tell you, Knit Night is so much fun, I'm surprised Huz lets me leave.

That's Wanda in the back enjoying her cupcake a lot, the Las Vegas Spin Fairy and I love her. She brought me the yarn featured in the bottomest photos. LeAnne brought them because I was came to knit night the week of my birthday and no one knew and she needed an excuse for cupcakes. I provided said excuse. They were from a place here in Vegas called Nothing Bunt Cakes and they were the most amazing cupcakes I've ever had.

This sweater went from here...

...to here...

...by way of her. Lol. KaBean had a lot of fun helping me frog the Borealis Sweater. It felt really good to get that yarn back...

...there was a whole lot of it, and I love it, and it's too pretty to be stuck in a UFO that will never get finished.

 

I just thought this was too cute. Love this girl!

Wanda gifted me with some gorgeous, custom, hand painted yarn in my perfect colors. Probably a little less than 250 yards of beautiful. I chose to do a really neat Moebius Lace pattern, but as I knit along, I realized that I really really hate the purl side of the pattern and need to rework the whole thing.

I LOVE the top, the lace pattern shows really nicely on the knit side, but I feel quite sure that there has to be something that will look better for the bottom section. If you don't know anything about the wonder that is Moebius Knitting, stay tuned, I'll have a whole bunch of posts about it coming up, it's the most amazing, frustrating, tricky things I've learned in a long time.

Happy Birthday, ManChild

My son just turned 2. He officially ended his second trip around this sun. He came out of me and is still nourished at my breast. His expressiveness and happiness impress me every day. He loves his big sister and wants to be everywhere she is and she does amazing with him for the most part. This little boy, my ManChild, is one of the best things about waking up every morning. Actually, I think the silence before he wakes up is the best, sshhhhhh.... I want to right about the things that have been important to me in the past, I even just listed them out, but even that felt like too much. But I feel this year, I am just so happy he is mine, well ours. I love him. I love him and his father and his sister and our unit. We are so blessed.

I love you, my little ManChild. Happy Birthday.

He's absorbing the knowledge. Education thru osmosis. Resting under to books works the same way the Fibonacci Baby Blanket will make that baby good at math. 

I know he looks asleep, but he actually told me that Lighting McQueen needs boobies. And also that McQueen likes boobies.  

And apparently, Tow Mater really likes boobies too. 

Best conversation all week when Huz came home from a shoot,

ManChild, "Hi Daddy!!!! Hiii!!!!!"

Huz, "Hey kiddo, I missed you, what did you today?"

MC, in the most excited 2 year old voice you ever heard, "Got BOOBIES!!! Daddy, GOT BOOBIES and switched SIDES!!!!!!!"

Huz, not as excited but still a lot excited but not enough, "You got Boobies?" 

MC, kind of disappointed in Daddy for not being properly stoked but still personally thrilled, "Yeah, Daddy, Boobies, switch sides. and Mater and Queen boobies, too."

My boobies are great fuel it seems. 2 years, going strong.

It Has Come To Pass...

On the first lace row of the last lace repeat, I messed up again. Stupid fucking shawl. Well, not really, I made the mistake of taking it to knit night where I tried to knit and discuss awesome things like the foot ware of various Companions of the Doctor (it was decided that Donna had the most sensible shoes) and the merits of the various yarn storage techniques, a split between cakes and skeins... Turns out I am not at all awesome enough to work a 12 stitch repeat and carry on a conversation at the same time. bastard knitting. I'm so close to being done with section 1 it hurts. I wanted to stay up last night till I got to the seventh row of the last repeat with color A, but when I saw at the beginning of the 2nd row of lace, which is my favorite because it goes k3, tog, k3, yo, k3, yo, repeat. it's fun. But aperently, I still can't count and so it's fun and wrong. So I am about to frog the whole first row of lace back to the plain knit set up row and recount and check the pattern and hope I didn't just ass up and miscount or knit 2 stitches together by accident or anything. Because I'm like that.

I went back to the Knit Night at Panera this week. I was very proud of myself for going back and very glad I did. It was a lot of fun and the ladies that go are all really nice and funny. Turns out that Knitting in Public is a lot like Nursing in Public. Especially in a group like this. We get funny looks and stares, but in this particular Panera I think they might be used to the knitters gathering in the corner because the employees never really look twice, even when I walked in with my whole knitting basket under my arm. It is really nice getting out and speaking to people face to face that aren't Huz of Jump (Jump for Joy). I fel more patient with the kids and more eager to actually do things around the house. Like laundry. Although I still haven't cleaned out the fridge... We did put a real desk in the Yarn Room... Although I'm sitting on the floor in Huz's office typing right now.

Hmm... I'm going to go play, because that can be done anywhere and the kids are done with their snacks.

Impressed

When I set the Shawl out like this, Huz looked over and said, "wow, you made that?... Now I'm impressed." Silly man- yes, I made it. As you should be. This is the most complicated project I've ever attempted. I love it because it is challenging me to be a better knitter and getting me ready to knit christmas gifts. When I read other knit bloggers I get down on myself a little, "why oh why can I not knit like her or her, or her" and I have to remind myself that I've only been knitting a couple of years and some of these people have been knitting since birth! Others are freakishly talented and I just have to steer clear of those folks. Knitting the Martinmas Shawl is beautiful practice. Getting me ready for the days when I can just knock sweaters off the needles like nothing, teaching me to follow a simple pattern to prepare for when I knit my first pair of Cookie A socks. It is interesting having something besides the kids that I want to get better at. It used to be dancing, and not even really all that whole heartedly. I worked really hard (sometimes) to be the best dancer I could ever be, because I loved dancing. Now I love knitting and I want to become really good at that someday.


ps- it's raining in Las Vegas. I love it! we went outside and collected some in a jar and KaBean and I danced around with our arms up thanking the sky for it's gift. Bliss. Really, really bliss.

Sloppy

This post is not about knitting or cute kids. Self Reflection Zone Ahead. You have been warned.


Everything about the way we do things is, feels, sloppy. Sloppy isn't quite the word I'd use... yes it is. And not just is in a "clean" kind of way, but in the way we lead our lives. That old quote "cluttered room, cluttered mind" has really been resonating with me for the last few days. I look around our McMansion and see the clutter. But we don't really own a lot of "stuff." No large pieces of furniture, huge toys, things on the wall... stuff... The few things we do have are strewn about the house like leaves. There is another quote floating around the peaceful parenting/ attachment parenting facebook pages that goes along the lines of "play with your kids now, while they're small... you can clean your house later." This is really amazing and touches me to the core and I love it. But I find myself wading thru junk all over my house. The kids and I try to keep up with it, but honestly, I'd rather be playing with my kids or knitting or, well, sleeping, than cleaning things. We don't own a ton of clothes, but we have tons of laundry, and it's everywhere. The kids really don't have an excessive amount of toys, but the stuff they do have ends up getting kicked aside to make room to walk... I feel like the only thing in the whole house that is even remotely tidy is was the Yarn Room. Until, that is, the kids and I went on our trip and Huz converted my space to the clean laundry pile room. It is better this way (not for me or my stash), in as much as now the clean and laundry really doesn't have the chance to mingle. I usually don't mind messes. It really doesn't bother me, but lately it has been too much. Almost like a reminder of all the non-consumerist and artistic ideals I have while living such a convenience, consumer based life. It doesn't help that I dislike/am not good at cooking. I like to bake stuff from time to time, but the whole "fresh ingredients" thing puts me over some sort of edge. When I look around the kitchen I see Starbucks cups and plastic bread bags and recycling and it over whelms me, the Stuff-ness of it all.


 And the diapers. I'm having diaper guilt. Since moving to the desert, we haven't used cloth. Well, a few times. But not enough. I'm torn here between the water used to wash the dipes and the impact of the sposies on the planet. But that's a whole different post. The point is, I think it's time for us to rework the way we live. Scratch that, it's time for me to change the way I live and help my kids make better choices. I think despite his best intentions, Huz is a lost cause.


But it goes even deeper than just the surface stuff. There is always crazy financial issues, in any family. There is education and the dog and work and the car and the ever-present guilt that maybe I'm doing wrong by my kids in every choice I make. But the way I handle these things is a defining trait in my life: I'm sloppy. In my mind, my car, my kids. Every thing from the way I eat to the way I spend money to the way I keep house. It all just comes out sloppy. Even my spinning is sloppy, but I haven't been practicing much *cough*at*all*cough*. My knitting is at least nice still, but then maybe not... we'll see, I've made such headway on the F@#king Shawl. radness.


sorry about the emo word vomit, thanks for listening.

An Amazing Trip. In Pictures.

Ok, bear with me here, I want to tell about our trip in one post so here it goes... With pictures... 

The 2 kids and I flew from Las Vegas to the Bay Area as a team. The Southwest Guy gave Huz a pass to come thru security with us and that was great... since we almost missed the flight... because even after 6-7ish years I still let him plan things.

The ManChild was amazing and yes, nursing on the plane totally helped. So did the extra seat on both, both, flights. He slept for most of the second flight and KaBean got to color without worrying about her silly brother eating the pens.

Unky Dunky came and picked us up from the airport and drove us home. As soon as we could see the ocean I started taking pics. None of those actually have the ocean in them. Duncan's nose was in the way.

Poor ManChild made to about 8 minutes from Grandma's house before finally vomiting all over himself. 2 airplanes and 4 hours in a car later, vomit. I still feel bad. This pic was about an hour before... I can almost see it in his face. He handled himself well I must say.

KaBean planted these flowers before we left, she was very proud of their growth. In fact the garden looks amazing right now, I really really miss it...

I tried to soak up as much ocean wonderfulness as I could while we were visiting. I feel like I took any pic I could that might have the ocean in it. I also took a lot of pictures of the roads near home. I don't know why, I know these roads better than any other place on earth.

My dear friend (and Sock Goddess) Pippi's youngest. In just the month that we've been gone she is already running around and trying to talk and play with the big kids. The ManChild was a little afraid of her.

We got to play at Bill and Lynette's house which is always a treat for me, I just love talking to Lynette about everything. She is unschooling her 13 year old daughter and they both seem to be loving the lifestyle. Bill is sort of also The Dude so it fits right in with him. They have an insane out door playscape for big/little ones and both my kids love it there.

Big fields, huge rocks, swings, trampolines, a pond... and an ocean view. They have a great sitting area where we can sit and watch the kids play and see the ocean and everything. I really love it there...

So do the kids...

I'm not sure, but I think Bill and Lynette like having us to visit... just a little.

When I was a kid I had to walk to school uphill, both ways, in the rain, battling fierce logging trucks. True story. But on the sunny days, it was well worth it. These are crappy phone pics, but the right side of the road in this top pic is lined with moss and ferns and when the wild flowers are blooming it is truly magikal.

We'd pass this field on our way to school too (well we have to pass it anytime we want to go anywhere, really). I've always been in love with this view. There is something so traditional homesteader about this view with the house and the fields and the forest.

We got to spend some good playing time at Lily's (click the link, her work is awesome) house and see all her pets and animal friends... and of coarse we got to see her and Melody too.

Dude, she has a hammock and a pond in her sheep pen. So cool.

He really really loved watching the World's Oldest Pony (no, not really... but close) eat his lunch.

It was like the coolest thing ever.

I got a kick out of this: this little girl, sitting up and playing with her friends. Blowing kisses, signing to The ManChild and KaBean, eating. Eating! Now Lily doesn't brag much so I'm gonna do it for her.

A few weeks ago this little girl couldn't eat rice without choking. Now she is eating meals with her momma and poppa like a champ. A few months ago her physical therapist said she wouldn't be sitting for at least a year, well she proved him very wrong when she started sitting up, what, like a week after he said that. She is starting to crawl backwards and she can sit up all by herself. She is practicing standing with her momma and they are both doing so amazing. Don't tell Lil, she'll probably start crying, but man, I look up to her as one of the most inspiring moms I have ever come across. And that baby of hers is just perfect.

I think both of us were a little tear-y watching our 3 kids, not babies anymore, play together. It was seriously awesome.

Flower art in the garden. I really miss having a place we can go to dig in the dirt. This garden was so important to all of us. It was one of the only way I could get the kids to eat greens besides broccoli. It was a great place for learning about color and growth and life cycles.

and speed...

   ... fast babies don't need pants...

I think mostly we will miss the blueberries.

This is the Rhododendron Fairy Tunnel and it is amazing. Lets see... The rhodies have been growing since before our family moved into the house in 1990 so they are at least 22 years old. They are massive and I love them. They've grown up to make a wonderful little play area underneath them and when the blossoms start to fall, they carpet the ground with color.

The ManChild got a booboo on his knee and kept asking me to "tiss it, mawmaw. tiss it." I love him.

The Star Flower for Grandma. She doesn't like when they pick all the flowers in her yard. I think it's beautiful.

The awesome thing about visiting in the summer is that both my brothers are home. Unky Dunky here is stuck in a never ending "i'm winning!" race. Kabean seems to be winning. The boys, aka my brothers, kept suffeling the kids back and forth between them, it was really funny to watch. One kid would ask an uncle to do X and that uncle would be like, "Yeah! let's see what Other Uncle is doing first!" and trade off. All four kids had a blast playing together. um, my brothers are old enough to legally drink, but I think they still belong at the kid table with my offspring. lol

There are still Irises!!!!!!!!!!

Walking thru the forest to visit the cabin. Both the kids tried to go inside and both kids tried to get in the hammock. We all miss living in the woods...

The perpetual First sock on it's way to the Mendocino Yarn shop. Annelle helped me with all my knitting issues, including helping me find my mistake in That F@#king Shawl. I love Annelle and I really miss that shop. like a lot. seeing her was fun and she totally loved the Vegas Yarn I brought her. which I forgot to get a pic of. shoot.

My own homespun at the shop. Wait, I already showed you this pic, huh. oh well, I like it. Annelle helped me figure out the yardage so I can make it a Mobius for my Grama Jeannie.

Dare devil Uncle Brian taking The ManChild down the big hill on his mountain board. You know how I was talking about how great it is having both uncles around? Scratch that. They do stupid things. Like babies little boys on a high speed race down hill with no padding. Right after this, Duncan got on with Brian and they went so fast they couldn't stop, ended up crashing, with the resulting injuries of a bloody mouth, hand, and huge blood blister on the bottom of Dunc's foot. It was kind of epic.

And naturally, our favorite beach, Jughandle. We hung out there for hours...

At first just the three of us...

Then with our friends...

The sexy keg in the back is one of my oldest, closest friends, Tim. I love this guy and really wish we lived closer to each other. The adorable blond holding his hand is his niece. She is so friggin cute it hurts. I especially loves the way she talks. hilarious.

It wouldn't be beach day without Lily and Melody, and Pipi and her kids came too... why aren't they in any pictures. We were talking about how long/short ago it was that the 3 of us were sitting on that beach with only 2 mobile babies, 2 babes in in arms and one little person in Pippi's belly. Now we have... well, we have 5 very active and excited (able) kids. It was sort of bittersweet because despite my mom's promise of funding a road trip in the end of july (that just sounds like too much too soon...), I just don't know when I will get to see my friends again. Also, I fucking missed you, Amy. dammit.

This is Dundee and Nova looking all cute and shit under a tree. Nova is very lady like and has her little paws crossed. She cracks me up.

Um, my birthday is coming up, so I'm showing off my haul again.

I used to do the same thing on this same stool when I was little visiting my Grama Jeannie's house. We'd lay on our bellies and kick spin in circles till we couldn't stand up any more. This was The ManChild's most favorite thing to do until...

The baby frog broke into Grama Jeannie's house and we got to watch him jump all over the place, followed closely by my grama (their Great-grama) who was trying to catch the poor thing. He caught her in the end an we set him free with all his brothers and sisters on the front porch. There are close to a million baby frogs on her front porch. Like so many, it's a little freaky...

When we left Grama's house we drove over Tioga Pass. Oh.My.God. that place is amazing. I let the kids get out and explore a few times... we even say a coyote hunting gophers or something in the field. It was so frigging cool. i thought it was a wolf. awesome.

They were trying to escape on the top of the world. It was a long drive from Sonora to Bishop. But very very worth it.

I think at some point we were up close to 10,000 feet. in the sky. amazing. We are definitely doing that again. With Huz. He's never even seen Yosemite Valley!

At the hotel in Bishop I broke out some new Lorna's Laces and balled it up and cast on Elizabeth Zimmerman's Baby Surprise jacket. Even though it has been frogged and recast on a total of 3 times, I still love it. I love LOVE that yarn and it looks amazing in plain garter stitch. but more on that jacket and it's trails and tribulations later. punk ass baby sweater.

Love birthday wool and birthday books. Love.

One lane road google maps thought would be fun to send us thru. yippee! In other news that stunted tree right there is like a billion years old.

We drove right thru the Ancient Bristlecone Pine Forest (we didn't go to the visitor center, although I really wish we had...) to get from Bishop to Vegas. I know this word might be over used in this post... Amazing!

Mining ghost town of Palmetto.

Neet rock/mountains in the desert .

KaBean was fascinated by the dust tornado things. This was a pretty big one that crossed the road right behind us so I pulled over to watch it.

More stripy rock/mountains. I wish we had my brother's friend, Michelle, with us. She knows about rocks and probably would have made this all really interesting.

What is this? Every so many feet there would be these long sticks with ribbons tied to them waving in the wind. Too regular in distance and consistent in appearance to be memorial markers for accidents, but...?

Welcome to Nevada. We drove past the Nevada Nuclear Test Site and a huge prison. The sign says in part, "the nations principle nuclear explosives testing laboratory is located within this 1350 square mile geologically complex area..." and "... continuos occupation of prehistoric man from about 3,500 years ago. The last aboriginal group to occupy this site was the Souther Paiute... who occupied this site until the coming of the pilgrims." This sign strikes me as odd and sad for so many reasons.

The trip north and south again was an amazing, formative journey that the Littles and I did together. Recovering from it has been very hard. Both of the kids were their very receptive spongey selves and I was... well, I was me. Crazy, indecisive, insecure me. The landing back at New-Home has not been good. I've been a lot more yell-y than I want to be. More timeouts, more removal of privileges... But now Huz is home too and I can feel all of us relaxing back into each other and being more like the good parenting ideas we have than the knee jerk parenting reflexes.

As a last little note, I am linking this up with Owlet's Unschool Monday because I believe that this whole trip was a massive learning tool for our whole family and I can't wait to plan more trips like this and include fun things to learn about, corresponding books and games, new places to visit... all for the sake of learning from real life.