It Has Come To Pass...

On the first lace row of the last lace repeat, I messed up again. Stupid fucking shawl. Well, not really, I made the mistake of taking it to knit night where I tried to knit and discuss awesome things like the foot ware of various Companions of the Doctor (it was decided that Donna had the most sensible shoes) and the merits of the various yarn storage techniques, a split between cakes and skeins... Turns out I am not at all awesome enough to work a 12 stitch repeat and carry on a conversation at the same time. bastard knitting. I'm so close to being done with section 1 it hurts. I wanted to stay up last night till I got to the seventh row of the last repeat with color A, but when I saw at the beginning of the 2nd row of lace, which is my favorite because it goes k3, tog, k3, yo, k3, yo, repeat. it's fun. But aperently, I still can't count and so it's fun and wrong. So I am about to frog the whole first row of lace back to the plain knit set up row and recount and check the pattern and hope I didn't just ass up and miscount or knit 2 stitches together by accident or anything. Because I'm like that.

I went back to the Knit Night at Panera this week. I was very proud of myself for going back and very glad I did. It was a lot of fun and the ladies that go are all really nice and funny. Turns out that Knitting in Public is a lot like Nursing in Public. Especially in a group like this. We get funny looks and stares, but in this particular Panera I think they might be used to the knitters gathering in the corner because the employees never really look twice, even when I walked in with my whole knitting basket under my arm. It is really nice getting out and speaking to people face to face that aren't Huz of Jump (Jump for Joy). I fel more patient with the kids and more eager to actually do things around the house. Like laundry. Although I still haven't cleaned out the fridge... We did put a real desk in the Yarn Room... Although I'm sitting on the floor in Huz's office typing right now.

Hmm... I'm going to go play, because that can be done anywhere and the kids are done with their snacks.

Sloppy

This post is not about knitting or cute kids. Self Reflection Zone Ahead. You have been warned.


Everything about the way we do things is, feels, sloppy. Sloppy isn't quite the word I'd use... yes it is. And not just is in a "clean" kind of way, but in the way we lead our lives. That old quote "cluttered room, cluttered mind" has really been resonating with me for the last few days. I look around our McMansion and see the clutter. But we don't really own a lot of "stuff." No large pieces of furniture, huge toys, things on the wall... stuff... The few things we do have are strewn about the house like leaves. There is another quote floating around the peaceful parenting/ attachment parenting facebook pages that goes along the lines of "play with your kids now, while they're small... you can clean your house later." This is really amazing and touches me to the core and I love it. But I find myself wading thru junk all over my house. The kids and I try to keep up with it, but honestly, I'd rather be playing with my kids or knitting or, well, sleeping, than cleaning things. We don't own a ton of clothes, but we have tons of laundry, and it's everywhere. The kids really don't have an excessive amount of toys, but the stuff they do have ends up getting kicked aside to make room to walk... I feel like the only thing in the whole house that is even remotely tidy is was the Yarn Room. Until, that is, the kids and I went on our trip and Huz converted my space to the clean laundry pile room. It is better this way (not for me or my stash), in as much as now the clean and laundry really doesn't have the chance to mingle. I usually don't mind messes. It really doesn't bother me, but lately it has been too much. Almost like a reminder of all the non-consumerist and artistic ideals I have while living such a convenience, consumer based life. It doesn't help that I dislike/am not good at cooking. I like to bake stuff from time to time, but the whole "fresh ingredients" thing puts me over some sort of edge. When I look around the kitchen I see Starbucks cups and plastic bread bags and recycling and it over whelms me, the Stuff-ness of it all.


 And the diapers. I'm having diaper guilt. Since moving to the desert, we haven't used cloth. Well, a few times. But not enough. I'm torn here between the water used to wash the dipes and the impact of the sposies on the planet. But that's a whole different post. The point is, I think it's time for us to rework the way we live. Scratch that, it's time for me to change the way I live and help my kids make better choices. I think despite his best intentions, Huz is a lost cause.


But it goes even deeper than just the surface stuff. There is always crazy financial issues, in any family. There is education and the dog and work and the car and the ever-present guilt that maybe I'm doing wrong by my kids in every choice I make. But the way I handle these things is a defining trait in my life: I'm sloppy. In my mind, my car, my kids. Every thing from the way I eat to the way I spend money to the way I keep house. It all just comes out sloppy. Even my spinning is sloppy, but I haven't been practicing much *cough*at*all*cough*. My knitting is at least nice still, but then maybe not... we'll see, I've made such headway on the F@#king Shawl. radness.


sorry about the emo word vomit, thanks for listening.

Hit the Ground Knitting?

As soon as we got home yesterday, I unpacked my yarn and roving that had accumulated in my trunk some how while visiting the coast and driving back to the desert. 

In that pile you can see some Lorna's Laces, Mohair Laceweight, and new sock yarns. yum. Also pictured in the back is a 1 (or 2, it's too late to be climbing stairs and searching tags) oz baggie of hand died curly locks... again with the label searching. Not pictured is several ounces of mystery wool that has been died a beautiful shade of purple. Lily brought it back from her family adventure. I tried to comb it as soon as I could. My combs are broken. We're not talking about that.

What we are talking about is the new size 11 DPNs I got to finish the Misunderstood Hat.

The only thing standing in the way of this stupid hat being done was that set of needles. I'm simply not magic-loop awesome and really could not do the decreases on a large circular so the hat waited. I took it to mendo with me to visit the Mendocino Yarn Shop and procure said needles for much less than previously found here in Vegas. Our trip was so whirl wind, we were busy...

Looking at Lily's pony eat his lunch...

Picking alllll of Grandma's flowers...

oh, um... yarn... that's some of my very own homespun from months ago getting measured so I can find an appropriate pattern

Ridding the mountain board down the big hill will Uncle Brian.

And of coarse...

The beach with friends.

So now, armed with the size 11 DPNs, I have finished the Misunderstood hat. And very anticlimactically, do not have a picture. It's too dark for crappy phone pics of nice knitting. tomorrow.

ps- i have some great crappy phone pics of our trip to share son too, but for now I have to go do the dishes left in the sink by Huz and Nephew before they left. nothing says welcome home from your solo trip with the kids like a sink full of dirty dishes.

Cleaning, a Yarn Along, and a Harlot... And Still That Shawl

In rare form, I vacuumed today. I vacuumed more in one go today that ever before. Because of one thing, well 16 really, but one unit... STAIRS. For the first time ever I vacuumed a whole flight of stairs. I know it really isn't that big a deal, but to be honest, I was quite unprepared. My vacuume has a funny little ledge on it that says "handle for stairs" and in my dopey brain that translates to "it is a really good idea to man handle this thing up a flight of stairs followed closely by 2 small children who are "helping" because it has a special handle"... What followed was silently cussing at my puny guns and struggling to keep the children from pulling us all down the stairs in a tangle of legs, vacuume cleaner cords, and more dog hair than Isis had ever lost before.
The good news is that we made it to the top, no one was hurt, and I never even raised my voice. The bad news is that I suddenly feel the need to vacuume all the rooms upstairs, and that today is both Wooly Wednesday and Ginny's Yarn Along.

I'm doing Ginny's Yarn Along, sharing what I've been reading and knitting, first because I know I have all month for Spinspiration. So, here is what I've been reading and working on. It is quite different from last time (when I left the young Antionne she was on her way to Paris to meet her you new husband, they took her dog and Pam's Shawl has run out of yarn.) I don't know if this counts, to be honest, but I can't stop...

I've been reading Stephanie Pearl-McPhee's The yarn Harlot Blog. From the beginning. I know it really isn't a book, so I have no idea if it is within the rules of Ginny's Yarn Along, but it has all the makings of a great book, and Stephanie is an author and many of her posts are about her books, so I say it counts. This woman is hilarious, she manages to describe extreme knitting mania in a way that keeps me laughing till tears are gushing down my cheeks and my family worries for my sanity. I'm pretty sure we should all be worried about hers. She shares the secrets of complicated knitting- did you know that chocolate, wine, and ignoring one's children is the only way to eek out any knitting time at all and that it is totally fine if you live in a Wool House for every one to go a few days without clean pants? And not only that, she makes me feel like I'm not the only one... although I'm pretty sure thats just her being nice. Her explanation of the reasons for having so many projects on needles was so clear and sensible, I did the only thing her readers can do when they find themselves amazed by her Knit Goddess Logic- I cast on another pair of socks and pulled some of my hand spun off the rack and started looking for patterns. The thing is, when you live far away from your friends and you only have a few who understand the pull of fiber, you need to find understanding relationships, no matter how one sided. I feel like Stephanie "gets" me, the way Blind Melon totally wrote that album just for me when I was in middle school and the lead singer was already dead, yeah, just like that... She understands what it is like to feel stressed out by the world and then find solace in that Happy Place of fiber... Her blog makes me not miss my home so much, it makes me want to go up and cast something new on in every yarn I have ever stashed. And she makes me feel like that is a normal impulse ... well, not normal, but there is a pretty large group of people who feel the same.

Now, I'm not showing you the new socks today, because... well, because I'm still in love with the Martinmas Shawl and we are very happy together. Honestly, I'm loving the way it is coming together. The long color repeats of the Mushishi sort of thru me off at first but then I started thinking about why I knit... or maybe not "why" so much as How I Feel while knitting... When I knit, I do it for the process. For the feeling of the yarn slipping thru my fingers, for the counting and recounting, for the end fabric. The action of tossing the yarn around the needle is really, sort of peaceful, once you sort out the pattern and memorize the repeats. Knitting is the only puzzle I've ever enjoyed solving, you take a long straight line and turn it into something full of loops and twists. When knitting on the Martinmas Shawl, one of the things I find myself fascinated by is the way each row fits on top of the one before it. The YOs move out to form a 'V' all the way until they are right next to the S2K1p, like a fan. I like the way you can tell that the last YO in a repeat is coming next when I knit into the top of the previous row's last repeat. I think it's neat. Is my nerd showing? When I spin, I spin for color, but when I knit, I knit for the process.

While you're thinking about it, go check out Taryn's Yarn Along, she's reading Taproot and I'm a little jealous.

More on spinning later, or tomorrow... I'm going to walk the dog before it gets Hell-Hot. What are you working on?


oh and at the end of the day, The ManChild pooped on my clean carpet twice. I stopped caring at point.

OK, So Yesterday When I Said "Tomorrow..."

Maybe I was being a little... ummm... optimistic...

In all fairness, I did write the post before I knew Huz had loaned his money maker (aka the pro camera) to a "student of his..." wtf? for real, if this student breaks, looses, or sells this camera how are we supposed to feed the kids? Any way, I thought that since I wont be getting the camera today, I should start by organizing the Stash and WIPs (works in progress) to make the shoot more efficient... plus, I like fondling wool. Here are a few pics of my Fiber Room, from the floor, with my laptop camera...

As you can see, over turned baskets, projects and needles strewn everywhere... It's probably a good thing I can't use the camera today...

Goodby, Cabin.

We didn't get to do as much as I had wanted in our last month on the coast, but just living in the forest and letting the kids soak up nature every day was bliss. I already miss our quiet cabin in the woods. The desert heat and dry air has succeeded in making all of us sick. So I huddle around these pictures, and the other pics of the kids in nature and I try my best to remember what fog feels like... what rain smells like... the sound of the ocean... the frogs... man, why do people choose to live here?

This is the ladder to the loft and where the kids sleep and watch movies... You can see my wheel tucked behind the ladder and the sleeping mat and pillows and stuff all piled up. One sleeps on the couch, one sleeps on the mat. It's a good set up.

Wood burning stove. Best. Ever.

Kitchen and front door. OK, only door. but it's kind of cool...

Kitchen window... 

Fire place window... I like the look of the ax and the bobbins... I think it's like my version of leather and lace. lol

Bad pic, but this is the only view from the loft pic I have. :(

And this... maybe my favorite thing ever... The View From The Toilet. Honestly, nothing is more awesome than watching nature when nature calls.

posted from Bloggeroid

Packing

There is a stack of packed boxes in the corner of our living room. Empty walls and shelves are appearing all over the house. The white plastic bags full of things we are donating or selling or giving away are piling up. The laundry is almost caught up... it is amazing, I think I'm down about half on clothes for everyone. lol. The move has inspired the purge bug in me again, it is true. I love sorting thru our stuff and deciding if it is something we need or not. I am parting a dozen diapers, toys I've had since childhood, clothes from when my son was small. But removing these things also puts into perspective the things that are important. I am keeping about as many dipes and toys and baby clothes... all bundled up with my high school and college photo albums tucked inside the steamer trunk that a distant ancestor brought over from Croatia... I get a chance to purge the kitchen stuff. Really evaluate what we use and what we don't. This weekend, everything will go out on our lawn with a sign that says "free or donation." I'll probably put a jar or a sign to the mailbox or a sign that says knock or something... or I'll let people figure it out.

I've been so busy packing, and I've been falling asleep with the kids early every night so I'm falling behind. But I feel my wheel calling me... My beloved teacher Helen is at Death's door. I wish I had been there more for her. So I'm going to spin.

Absence...

I am house sitting for my parents again. woot! It's wonderful to be here with my kids... we get to play in the forest all day, go in the hot tub when we feel overwhelmed, and watch movies on a real tv instead of my lap top. The three crazy dogs are always running around and barking at nothing. I have day dreams of filling the yard with goats and chickens and planting the best garden! But it is hard to get online out here, they only have satellite internet which is about as quick as dial-up. But I have been working out and taking pictures... just not posting about them.

Which brings me to the reason for this post:

Because we have not been at home (house sitting... and our gas was turned off and i'm waiting for huz to get up all the $$$ to get it back on) I have put aside my cloth diapers, temporarily... The man child has had one hell of a rash and Bean is still needing a night time diaper, so I bought 4 packs of the 7th generation paper diapers and some wipes. It was 10% day at harvest so i stocked up. This is actually a great thing for my cloth diaper adventure because it is giving me a chance to wash and strip all my diapers and look at them all in one place, sort out the ones that we can still use and demote to rags the ones that are torn or too small... Plus my beautiful land lady pays the water and since the Man Child started eating real food, the diaper routine has needed more and more water. I still do my best to dump the poop into the the toilet because a) the fecal matter that goes into the trash dump via disposable diapers ends up in our water systems... so essentially we drink each other's babies' shit and b) putting human fecal waste into the municipal trash system is illegal. But few people care or know. We successfully cloth diapered our son for a year and a half. I'm not done with my cloth, but it is time to reevaluate the system to make it work for a big kid instead of a baby. Cloth diapering the new born was the easy part...

I've been house sitting for my parents and they have the world's worst internet. It may as well be dial-up. Since being out here is a lot more fun than being at home, there hasn't been much working out. yay. I did about 60 jumping jacks yesterday, and 4 this morning, but that's about all. There has been a ton of exploring in the rainy forest and lots of wet yard work. Getting all the sheet mulch spread out in the orchard in the rain is actually kind of nice. It gives me a taste of what it is like to have my family in a house with a yard and garden and orchard and dogs that all need to be taken care of. I imagine myself doing the morning rounds, letting out my dream chickens and dream goats, checking the garden, feeding my brood. Right now is movie time, I have laundry to fold. But I just love the kids sitting in their big chairs with their blankies and the Man Child with his Monkey. So, I'm going to fold laundry and watch bug's life with my babies. because this is what rainy days are truly for.




ps- I love you.

Focused

I've been so bent on rebuilding my home into a place I want to be. A place that is safe and welcoming for my kids and their friends, because Little A actually has friends who want to come over and play. Over the last week or so, I've been taking things out of the cupboards and cabinets, sorting them into 'garage sale' or 'trash/recycle' or keep. I even cleaned out and consolidated the junk drawers (yes, 2 junk drawers) into one  Awesomely Useful Stuff Drawer. I want to improve the quality of our lives and it has taken me a while to see that I don't to be rolling in dough to make that happen. I just need to focus.

I've been making a ton of "List of 100" lists. The theory is that the first 30 are the "Duh" ideas that float around and get in the way of all your subconscious ideas, the next 40 are the less obvious ideas- this is where your brain really starts digging, getting things out to make way for the final 30, the place of idea gold. I still haven't made a list longer than I think 54 ideas but the cool thing is it helps me see what really needs to be done. Just getting the most Duh ideas out of head onto paper makes like a window in my thoughts and I can see thru to the gold. Like cleaning out my junk drawer. And putting the art supplies into the new empty space. and moving the kitchen toys to where the art supplies were. and so on. It feels really good to purge the house, de clutter the space. I've even managed to maintain both the kitchen and the bedroom in a somewhat tidy space for a few days. Trust me people this huge. Having a mostly tidy house is great for the kids to play, I don't have to worry too much about Little B putting things in his mouth and the choking to death while I'm in another room. That would suck. Oh! but you wanna know started all this in the first place?

I found Little B on the dining table. Lets say that again- I found Little B on the dining table. I came back into the kitchen and some how my 10 month old son (he was 10 mos then, now he's 11 mos) had climbed up onto a chair onto the table. He has also tried to get up on the counter because the tapatio must look mighty delicious. or something.

Any way, we are in a great emotional space (although i did just snap at Little A, i just want to finish this darn post) for the first time in months, my pergo hormones are returning to a less sad level and I am spending more time away from the screen and with my kids instead. So now, I'm done. I'm going to go apologize to my little loves for not focusing on them then I'm gonna make some pancakes and enjoy time with my babies.

Spiritual Mantras for Cleaning House

Earth my body
Water my blood
Air my breath
fire my spirit.

I got clean sheets on my bed, laundry folded, dishes done and a baby washed! Sweet! Before I even discovered the mantra for house work, Melinda was helping me use it birthing babies. I thought, hey it worked then, maybe it'll work now. It did.

Tapatio is hotter when left on the counter... and consumed in large amounts at 10pm...

Earlier in the day, no chanting... but I still got some chunky stuff done- I showered Bean, with Soap this time instead of getting her wet and calling it good, AND I cut her hair. Yeah I did! She looks so cute and neat instead of some crazy scraggle kid I pulled off the street. She even ate 2 really good-ish meals today. I know most kids eat 3 or more but she fell asleep at 6:45! Crazy Kid. Maybe that helped get all that stuff done...? Naw it was the chanting.

Bean says Toy Story 3 is too scary for her so we watched Bugs Life instead. Also a great movie, but I sooo love TS3! I got most of the head of another frog done, but I was nursing, then holding a sleeping baby so it didn't go as fast as it could have. Now I will work on it for a little while while watching Hulu and then go back to bed with my spit-up free clean smelling little baby. yay.

The Man Child's new favorite night time song (another chant courtesy of Melinda) helped him doze off quite a bit faster tonight and kept him entertained as I washed dishes next to his bath tub. yeah, multi-tasking.

We all come from the Goddess
And to her we shall return.
Like a drop of water
Flowing to the Ocean...

The fact is, chanting these and putting love and truth into the words gives me the strength I need to finish my task. Just like when I birthed my Man Child, hearing these words... or maybe I thought them waaayyyy hard in my head, gives me strength to put one foot in front of the other. Women have been raising beautiful, honest children in worse situations than ours and we will be fine as long as I don't give up.

Thank you
Blessed be

Whats With Today, Today?

Hells yeah, I got a ton of shit done today. Yeah I did!
1. Got Kaya off to school with breakfast in her tummy before she left house, lunch made, teeth brushed, Zen dressed and changed and Isis fed. Score!
2. Went to Mom's to drop off her tomatoes from Lorrie's garden (delish!) and pick up the cookware I needed to make my day super productive.
3. Got home and finished the dishes. That alone is a major accomplishment. I was very proud of that because I just got a new 38 piece set of Snapware (like Tupperware only cooler) that all needed to be washed and put away.
4. I gave Zen a bath. Yay. My little water baby loves his bath days! He was all pissed off, like majorly pissed, and I got him naked and put him in the tub and presto, he was super chill. Got him all cleaned and put him down for his nap. I sooo wish I could have joined him. Early bed time tonight!
5. I made tamales. That's right bitches, TAMALES! AND they were vegan! hells yeah! score 5 for the home team! Vegan potato curry tamales. I soooo made the masa from scratch too. I didn't grind the corn or anything, but I did have to blend it with the Earth Balance for like 3 hours just to get it to the right consistency (no, not really 3 hours, but hella forever). AND guess what? They turned out pretty great. I mistook my cayenne pepper for chile powder and added a whole tablespoon of cayenne to the curry so they were suuuuuper spicy but after some tweaking they came out pretty good! yay.

Now all I have to do before bed is get the diapers into the dryer, fold the laundry and make the bed. Then I can sleep in it! YAY!!!!!

Fluffy Mail!!!

First off, the fun stuff, I got my fluffy mail today! The boring stuff- Thirsties Pre-Wash and Rockin' Green Cloth Diaper Laundry Detergent (Soft Rock- Bare Naked Babies). The exciting stuff- FuzziBunz Double sided Wipes and my very first Rumparooz G2 One Size Diaper w/ 6-r  Soaker (Aplix fastener) in Platinum. That's right, we now have a platinum colored diaper. Ballin! I already love it, but it hasn't been washed yet and that seems to make a difference in the softness. In the next few posts I think I'm going to start reviewing some of the fluff and fluff related products I get. I'll start with our first diaper purchase and go from there.

But that is another post, and right now I'm going to talk about my day...

J Wizzle left this morning, sad, and the house is a mess, sadder. I should be picking things and cleaning since I got both kids to bed at the same time (score 1 me!) but instead I am going to watch Robin Hood and work on Melinda's cowl. Tomorrow I will be going to the MYS with Jamie to get some advice on the project while Bean is in day care, I'm kinda nerdily excited about it! My mom told me I was an old lady but I just laughed. This is fun! I got more done on this project while Wade-O was home than I had been able to get done in a while and that felt really great!
Our day went pretty well, J Dub left at noon and the kids and I sort of hung out together for a while. We played "You can't caaaaatch meeee!" with Bean. I hold the Man Child in the carrier and sort of fast walk while K Bean runs through our house squealing and having a really great time. Then we played "You can't fiiiinnnd meeee!" Bean will hide under the blanket and then squeal and have a really good time when I pull the blanket off her and find her. Then, get this other moms of 2 babies, We All Took A Nap At The Same Time!!! Yes we did. It was glorious! Man Child slept and Bean slept and I got to sleep too!!! (Hence being up blogging at 11pm) It was even Bean's idea. I think she thought she was playing a game until she started snoring!
Any way, I'm off to my knitting.

Day 10: Ugh... Now I Can't Remember...

I need to start writing these things down. Over the last few days I have come up with, what I think are, some great topics. But everytime I sit down and start writing, I sooooo forget what I was going for. I guess I'll just do another up-date.

Kaya's behavior has been pretty up and down. She goes from being really helpful to really stubborn in a whole 2 blinks of an eye. I've been working really hard at not shouting or using threats, trying to really hear what the problem is. Making the effort to really spend time with her has been rough but I think we're getting better at it.

Zen is amazing, he still has a cough and a snotty nose, I think I'm going to call the peds office to see if I need to bring him in. I really don't want to. I think he would sleep really well at night if he weren't always soooo stuffy. He can hold his head up really well and loves to look around towards the noises he hears. Cloth diapering is going really well, no rash yet, no build up in smell or stains. It even helps me keep on top of the rest of the laundry!

James is going to be home soon, but he'll be bringing his mother. I really can't wait for him to be home... but he's bringing his mom. oh well.
Time to get Kaya from school!

Day 6: A Much Better Day or Diapers in the Mail!

Kaya had daycare today and she was sooo good getting ready to go. Dropping her off was great, she was really good. Zen and I had a fine, calm day until he had projectile vomit all over our bed! It got in his eyes, his ears, his nose, his armpits... I even found some in his diaper! He got a bath and even though he has never liked baths in the first place, he was so good and relaxed. He let me clean him all over until I got to his hair, he didn't like that at all! We went to pick Kaya up and it was a disaster! She was so upset about something... I don't know what, but she had an accident during nap time and then a melt down. We had to get the other teacher from the baby room to hold Zen while I comforted Kaya.
I think she really just needs me. She needs my undivided attention, not me while I listen out for Zen or watch a movie with her while I nurse. I want to do something really special for her but what? My mom will take Zen for an hour or so and Kaya and I can go to the beach or maybe the toy store and get some paint and do a project. I want to give her everything I gave her before we had Zen. She needs lots of love and affection and attention and want, need to be the one to give it to her.
But by the time I got them both home she had cheered up a bit and we got on with our day. The best part of the day? Our new FuzziBunz came in the mail!!! These cloth diapers are so cute and soft and surprisingly easy to use! I love cloth diapers!!!!! I am pleased to report the rest of our day has gone smoothly, no major incidents to report!

Now on to Ice Cream, Knitting, and Torchwood.

Day 5: Disaster Strikes or Good Start, Race Lost or Melinda is a Goddess!

Woke up this morning to 3 stuffy noses, 3 sore throats and 3 coughs. We were supposed to meet friends at the play ground and then meet Melinda for tea. I almost cancelled everything but instead I texted Melinda and told her we were unwell and, since she is an amazing wonderful person, asked her if she could bring us some "feel better." I packed Kaya and I a good lunch, dressed Zenny and got the kids into the car for our play date at the park. We played and had lunch and Kaya was so good the whole time we were there, but a little sluggish and sleepy acting. Zen slept on my chest in our Beco carrier the whole time. (PS- I love those baby wearing and I LOVE our Beco!) We went to Mendo, then started home for a nap. As we were leaving she started acting so out of it. not bad, just a little cranky 2 year old. then she just stopped listening, she usually has to be asked 2 or 3 times but she usually does it. Today she didn't want to listen or help or be patient or anything. She was kicking and yelling and jumping and she was happy and having fun the whole time. Even when I finally had to yell at her for putting her dirty feet all over  the baby's head and face. I asked her 3 hundred times to stop. "Stop putting your feet on Zenny's head please, Kaya." But she didn't and I wanted to smack her. I don't want to be that kind of mother. Any way, our day just fell to pieces, every moment things just got worse. I was feeding off her energy and she was feeding off me. I fell asleep during the movie, while asleep she got into the bum spray for the cloth wipes and emptied to out onto the floor in her play room. That was the last straw, I tossed her in her bed for a time out and she yelled and hit me and I yelled back and Zen started crying so I started to change him when Kaya started yelling and kicking the bed so hard i thought she was going to break something. So Kaya was kicking, Zen pooped on himself and they were both crying. I called Melinda and she came to my rescue. She came and took Kaya for dinner and an adventure. Zen and I lay down and snuggled, we ate, and I got to knit. Kaya came home and Melinda helped me put her to bed. Now it's my bed time. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Day 4 etc. etc. etc.

So today was decent. Natalie was here over night and helped with bed time and getting Kaya ready for daycare this morning. But she was still kinda grumpy when she got home. Her teacher said she didn't nap at all, so I know she was just tired. I have to learn to be more patient with her when she takes forever to do as I ask. She is frustrated that Daddy is gone again and I think, even though she is always kissing him and loving him and telling us how much she loves him, I think she is a little jealous of Zen. She was doing sooo well but recently she started having accidents again. She started the day she went to daycare after Zen was born and it hasn't really gotten better. On the up side, she did wake herself up in the night to go pee.

Poor little Zenjamin has the snuffles. No fever, just a really stuffy nose. I don't really know what to do besides wait it out. Kaya was stuffy for a 2 days and got right over it, so maybe tomorrow or the next day?

I got really mad at the cowl I'm knitting for Melinda. It wasn't really it's fault, you know, I was doing the knitting. So I decided to take a break from it and go back to working on Jamie's hat. What I really want to do is start a new hat for Kaya but I need to finish something before I start something new.

Now I am off to bed!

Day 2 as a Semi-Single Mom

Sooo... day 2 started off kind of rough. Man-Child woke up at 6 am and wanted to nurse and chat and look at stuff, but I convinced him to at least chill and relax while I rested some more. Then K Bean woke up at 7 but she was easy, I put on UP and she stayed in her bed until it was over. We woke up and had a shower and got the kids in the car and went to my moms where the day got wayyyy better.

We had a rough night though. Poor Bean had a really stuffy nose and a cough all night. Then the poor, ill feeling girl had an accident in the middle of the night. she was sooo sad, I was heart broken. At some point the CD I had on Man leaked and we woke up in a horrible puddle. I think it was a Bum Genius AIO. I found a few disposables in the back of my closet so we'll be in those (at night) until my favorite baby shop in Mendo opens back up on Weds. I got my first FuzziBunz this weekend and I love it!

Well, night 2 has begun and so far Bean hasn't coughed Man is asleep and we're off to a good start.

Simultaneous Bed Times!

Tonight represents an amazing occurrence in the history of my household. Both of my babies went to bed together, at the same time! Thanks to my dear friend Chris for the use of his family heirloom cradle, I got Bean and Man to bed right around the same time. Wade-o read Bean a story while I nursed the Man and then when he was calm, I changed his diaper and swaddled him, put him in the cradle and sung them songs until he was out. Like a light. now he is asleep like a baby! YAY!!!

Let's see if we can keep it up when Wade-o goes back to work...

Today was also Man-Child's 2 week check up. His weight up to 9 lb. 2 oz. So big sooo fast! The doc said he is perfectly healthy and growing like a good boy.

2 Kids. Jeeze Louise!

Today was my first outing with both the kids by myself. We went to the Westport hotel for lunch. It went surprisingly well! The Man-Child slept the whole time and K Bean was amazing! She ate all her french toast and I was able to eat my whole breakfast before it got cold.

As well as that may have gone, life on the home front has been hellllaaaa hectic! J Wizzle has been taking care of us really well, but he wont be here much longer and I'm going to have to figure out how to do all the house keeping and take care of 2 kids all on my own. So tonight is my practice run. Wade-o took Bean to my folks house for a bath and cobbler and she came home and went right to bed. So now, it's up to me to get the kitchen clean before I go to bed at a reasonable hour.
Yeah right.