More Worries and Struggles...

Ugh... Another struggle, this time at bedtime rather than in the middle of the night, so I guess that is a plus right? I don't know what set her off. She seamed fine and at some point she started screaming. I swear, sometimes I think if I hear her to scream "I don't want you, I want my Daddy!!!" one more time I'm just going to leave! Well, I'm not really... but sometimes I'd like to. It seams to be getting better. I tried to calm Man Child who started crying as soon as Bean started freaking out. So as Man Child started to calm down I sat down and just listened to her, I tried to let her know that even if she didn't want it I was there for her, I'd always listen to her when she had something to tell me.I don't want her to think I don't value her emotions, I do... I just- I just can't stand listening to her cry, it makes me sooo sad.

But we did have kind of a great day, I tried to stay off the computer today... it didn't work as well as I wanted but I was off more than I usually am.
Some things I am worried about.
1) the internet takes my attention away from my kids. I am going to try, from now on, to keep the lap top away from me during the day. Give my babies the attention they deserve.
2) I have been eating sweets, desserts, chips, snacks, everything compulsively. I can't stop. Once the kids go to bed I break out the treats and chow!. uhg... I feel so gross.

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