Wow! They Are Both Still Asleep...

How long will that last?
I adore being a mom(my), and even though there are days when I want to go all public-school-system and lock one or both in a padded closet, being the mother of these 2 amazing little ones has been a wonderful ride. The K Bean has taken to inserting "I love you" into just about every conversation-

"Babe, do you have to use the potty?"
"No, I'm busy. I have to get my kids out of the road!"
(She has 3 kids named Molly, Garry and Sally)
"Ok... Do you have to use the potty?"
"YESSSS! You stay here and watch my kids."
"OK"
"MOOMMMMYYYY! I need you!"
"Ok, here I come, what do you need me for?"
"Turn the light on. I love you."
"I love you too. K the light is on."
"When Daddy is a big girl, he's gonna be a ballerina."
"...?"
"All done!"

AND...

"Please don't lay on the baby, I'm pretty sure he doesn't like that."
"K. I love you!"

AND one more...

"Hey wait! Don't sit on the dog, you might hurt her!"
"Yeah, Isis is too fit to ride. She is too big. Baby could ride her!"
"Well, I think that maybe you are too big and Isis can't hold you up?"
(Not even going to address the fact that she ran in and was trying to drag Man Child off the bed to help him ride the dog. I did stop her though. He thought the whole thing was pretty darn funny.)
"Ok. I love Isis."

When the girl first met her guard dog

About a year ago.

"Me too, she is a good dog."

A Song My Mom Used To Sing...

When I would act grumpy and start on how I don't have any friends. Like she thought this would make me feel better...
No body loves me
Everybody hates me
Lets all go eeeeeet worms
Big worms
Juicy worms
Long worms
Slimeeeee WORRRMMMSSS!

Then I'd either get all pissed and storm off or yell at her or I'd start laughing.

Offensive Rant About Breastfeeding.

It's in the title, this might offend the formula camp. Sorry

The nursing community, including their supporters are going to take on Facebook. This is ridiculous. Many people have pointed out that it really isn't FB that hates nursing but the society that does the flagging of pictures. OK, that maybe true, but since breastfeeding is vital to a healthy baby shouldn't FB at least allow the groups to be exempt? If young women never see others nursing how will they know that they can do it? Or that it is even possible?!? People are so offended by nursing that there are laws to protect our children's right to eat. Yeah, ok formula moms in the back- did you chose to give your child an artificial milk substitute even though you had read all the science showing that formula is nutritionally inferior to breast milk? If your answer is no, skip this next paragraph, if your answer is yes- read on.
Oh yeah? You did? So you knew that your child was getting the worst possible form of nourishment but you did it anyway? Isn't that selfish? So you wouldn't quit smoking while pregnant? Because it is basically the same thing. What was your reason?... you didn't want someone sucking on your boobs? Why not? Is it an insecurity? Let me tell you, that little creature doesn't care what your boobs look like. Do you flag other moms who breastfed because on some level you feel guilty for the choice you made? I'm sure you understand that choosing to formula feed over breast feed without even trying is selfish. I understand that maybe there are some comfort levels that will be pushed. But you are a mother now and no matter what, when you become a mother, comfort levels go out the window. Other peoples puke has always made me vomit. I was never fun at parties in college because I couldn't stand the smell of puke, holding my friends hair back was almost always out of the question. The first time the bean pooped and I had to change her I thought I was going to vomit all over the world. But you can't leave a baby in a poopy diaper, that is part of life. You don't chose wether or not to keep baby clean, so why would you chose not to give the baby good nutrition?
To the moms who said "No, I didn't chose formula, it was chosen for me..." That is ok. Did you try? Well, you tried your best. Did your Doctor tell you the baby was failing to thrive? Well, keep in mind he only spent 2 hours learning about BF in medical school so what does he know. It is OK, you were scared by someone you trusted. Did your baby have a bad latch? I'm sorry, I know a good breast pump is too expensive and it isn't even an option for me. Did you have to go back to work to support your family? Gah- that sucks! you should be allowed to stay home with baby for at least a year to breastfeed and bond with your new bundle. To the moms with sick babies in the NICU, I am so sorry and I pray that the babies get well and go home soon, but don't give up! Did you just not know any better? I am sorry, but hopefully when you have your next baby there will still be groups on Facebook to help you down the breastfeeding path. To all of you- Please check out Eats on Feets a global milk sharing community. ppl milk 4 ppl babies!
Ending the discrimination against breastfeeding will help all mothers to do what is best for babies. It is up to all of us to educate and spread the word about breastfeeding because the children are our future and they deserve the best from their community, not just their parents.

Sometimes I Want To Break Up With This World

So some one tried to (or has succeeded... i don't know yet) kill a congress woman. I feel so unprepared to write this post, but so sad by the state of our whole world and confused because back in the day before I had my babies and discovered peaceful birth, I really thought there could be no solution without removing all politicians from power. I was a crazy anarchist for a while. I still, in some deep part of me, think we should do like the phoenix and rise from our own ashes... but can we skip the whole part where we burst into flames? I have babies who I would rather never had to see something like that. In fact, when I was young and could see our world falling into shambles, I sited the coming turmoil as the best reason to NOT have kids. But then I met Wade-O and fell in love and we started talking about a family. I still wasn't sold on the idea of brining little ones into this shit storm and then I found out K Bean was on her way and my thoughts changed over night. Children are our future. Only if we have a future to leave them.

playing on the kitchen floor because what do they care, they have a floor to play on.

Old Chat With the Baby Bean

So, today I was talking to K Bean about people. Like 'Girl People' and 'Boy People' and 'Grand Pa' or 'Grand Ma People.' It reminded me of a hilarious conversation we had when we were camping. We were walking down the trail to the river ahead of the rest of the crew because I was hella pregers and slow and she was hella short and moved fast but her steps were very slow. As we walked (she scampered, I waddled
= "we walked") down the hill we had to pull over a few times to let people pass. At one point we pulled over for one of our camp ground neighbors.

"K Bean- lets get out of the way."
"K. tra lala laaa"

She turned around to look at who was behind us, turned back to me and said
"Mommy, is that a black guy?"

All I could do to keep from laughing was say
"Yes, I suppose it is."

Well, Bean's "Black Guy" walked past us laughing so hard I thought he was gonna trip over his feet and crash into us! I almost said sorry, but thought that would only make it weirder but he seamed to think it was really funny and smiled and said hi.

The cool thing was that he and they others at his camp hadn't been very friendly to us before that exchange, but after that, the whole group was friendly and pretty cool.

I guess the moral of the story is that it isn't a big deal. Little kids are curious creatures who will ask difficult and awkward questions. It is up to us as their teachers to always respond with humor and honesty.

And besides what was I supposed to say, No?

This Is Bigger Than Leaky

There is more to this attack on our right to breastfeed than just the deletion of The Leaky Boob. A few weeks ago the personal page of Guggie Daly was removed because "it violated Facebooks terms of service."


Excerpt from "Safety"

We do our best to keep Facebook safe, but we cannot guarantee it. We need your help to do that, which includes the following commitments:

1. You will not bully, intimidate, or harass any user.
2. You will not post content that: is hateful, threatening, or pornographic; incites violence; or contains nudity or graphic or gratuitous violence.
3. You will not develop or operate a third-party application containing alcohol-related or other mature content (including advertisements) without appropriate age-based restrictions.
4. You will not use Facebook to do anything unlawful, misleading, malicious, or discriminatory.

Excerpt from "Protecting Other People's Rights"

We respect other people's rights, and expect you to do the same.

1. You will not post content or take any action on Facebook that infringes or violates someone else's rights or otherwise violates the law.

Sooo, it seams to me that almighty Facebook has not read the terms of service. Here we go-

     1) Ok, really this should be obvious. But in case you missed the connection, I'll help you. How is repeatedly removing our support after endless apeals and pleas from users to help us educate people about breastfeeding not bullying. That is like the smart kid getting beaten up all the time for getting good grades. Aren't there anti bullying laws now in most states? 

     2) (in order ) My breast milk hates everybody! It hates you, your momma, the dinner you made last week AND you car! Dude, bitch my boobs will so kick your ass, You don't even have to some closer- I'll squirt you in the eye! ... K, the porno-one is hard because creepy people DO troll our sites and take our pictures (But don't freak out and pull stuff. If you are smart about the people you friend and the pics you use on your profile, you will be fine) This beautiful photo of my baby nursing will incite riots over the lack of education in this country. Really? Have you ever been to Kim Kardashian's page?

     3) Mafia. Isn't that an ap about selling "contraband", building your "family and shooting people?

     4) Teaching about breastfeeding is not misleading, it is the truth. And we want to help, not judge all mothers, no matter how they feed their babies. 

    

     So isn't Facebook infringing on our rights by removing almost everything related to nursing? If you search for key words in the search bar it is so easy to see erect penises and dildos, or almost completely naked breasts (I would never be able to show that much skin just nursing! lol); Find violent or hateful (or both)- I mean dead baby jokes? C'mon.

Please, reinstate The Leaky Boob, leave Guggie Daly alone, and if a momma is brave enough to post a pic of her nursing the light of her life, please just let her be. Because if you leave us alone, the time will come when mothers don't online support just to feed their children- their friends, family, partner will be there is reality to help her.

Sooo Facebook Still Hates Nursing

Yup, the war on breastfeeding is still on in a major way. A great support page The Leaky B@@b, has been deleted, leaving thousands (yes really, this page had over 2,000 "likes") of nursing moms without the online support many of them had come to rely on. I know there are so many women in this world who need all the help they can get from on-line communities because they don't get it at home our from family or friends. Luckily, for the most part, have not been one of those people. My people all consider the boobs the only way to feed children. My mom nursed all 3 of her kids AND went back to work and that was in the '80s. My man was never really exposed to it, but when I told him I was going to BF our first child for at least 1 year, hopefully 2, he had no problems and supported me every step of the way.
But not all women are so fortunate. This young woman didn't even know babies were fed from the breast but when she found out about it, that is what she did. Or all the moms with mastitis who want natural remedies before they pump themselves full of antibiotics. Or the women who get weird or mean looks when they feed their babies in public. The Leaky Boob was a place they could go for the encouragement they needed to keep on keepin' on. And now, thanks to facebook, these moms, and many others, are now internet homeless. Where are they supposed to go when their mother in law asks them to go to another room or the restaurant manager tells them to nurse in the bathroom. Ummmm people poo in the bathroom, why would I want to give my child food in the some place people poo? For now they go to the Bring Back the Leaky Boob page, which is really more for people trying to petition Facebook to reinstate the page. Or they go to the TLB Support page. But it just isn't the same.
And, no, The Leaky isn't the only place online for nursing mothers. But the problem is that FB keeps deleting pages that promote breastfeeding. They keep deleting pictures of nurslings. Yet they allow neo-nazi groups and naked body paint groups and dead baby joke groups (which I will not link. They don't deserve our traffic).
So what is really offensive, Facebook?
This-

The first time I ever nursed. K Bean's first time too. 3 years ago

My Man Child Nursing at 4 months. 

Or this (yes, I found these on facebook)

no, it is not a real penis, but damn! sure is graphic.
this was someones profile pic.

So to combat Facebook's blatant discrimination against nursing mothers there will be an on-site nurse in at the gates of the corporate headquarters in Palo Alto Ca. This friday at 12:30.

When You Know Better, You Do Better

How do you cope with the fact that you are doing things different for your second or third babies that you didn't do, or even know to do, with your first. I wanted a homebirth when I had K Bean but was too scared and too uneducated to trust myself and do it. So my daughter was brought into this world with much tugging and poking and prodding. No major drugs or surgery but it was hardly the peaceful beginning of life I had wanted for her. When we found out we were going to have a second baby, we both new we would have him at home. And we did. I thought that babies could manipulate you into thinking that they needed to be held all the time so we let the bean cry it out at bed time. Now I know better so my Man Child sleeps in bed with me so we can nurse all night long. Whenever he wants. We started giving the Bean solid food as soon as she could sit up, she weaned hella early, around 14 months. I had wanted to nurse her for at least 2 years. So now I know, Man Child will not be getting solid foods until he is no longer gaining on breast milk only. We never researched disipline with K Bean and we have both found our selves so frustrated with her that we have both smacked her, and felt so guilty about it afterwards... so now, I am doing non-stop reading so we can find an alternative to what we grew up with. 

On the flip side, Bean was never around when we were watching TV or checking e-mail. She didn't see any movies or other electronic media unless we were visiting my moms house. She didn't watch movies until we were pregnant with Man Child. But now, both she and Man Child get to see movies on the computer screen way too often. Well, too often in my opinion... Wade-O doesn't really seem to think it is so bad. But he grew up in cities, with not much green. I grew up with no TV, deep in the woods, lots of green. Just 2 ways of living...

So how do I learn to do things better for each subsequent child while applying these lessons to the children you already have? How do I make up to K Bean for her birth experience and short term nursing?