So Here Is Why I Stay Up Too Late

...I don't want to be touched. or looked at. or spoken to. or cried for.
...I don't want to feed anybody. or share the ice cream. or kiss boo boos.
...I don't want to answer questions. or help with sweatshirts. or shoes or the potty.

I Just Want To Be Alone.

Unlike other SAHMs I don't have the huz around to watch the kiddlets so I can run to the market. or yarn shop. or dance class. or the friggin bathroom. If I want to go anywhere, ANYWHERE, I have to pack the diapers and the toys and the clean clothes and the Beco and buckle everyone in. Then I can go where I need to go... not where I want to go. We tried to go to the yarn store today... it went ok but not really. KaBean put a $44 skien of wool in my bag when I wasn't looking. Luckily, the yarn shop lady is ah-maze-ing and simply took it back laughing.
Unlike most single mothers I don't get to (have to) drop them off at day care to go spend 8 (glorious child free) hours at work.
Nope, not me. I am with these 2 small, needy, whiney, sticky, hungry, bored offspring 24/7. and really i want rip my hair out.

Sometimes. But then I turn around and see Bean sharing her toys willingly with her brother. I watch him look at her and say thing. you know babies do- long sentances of sounds that make sense only to the baby. And she looks back at him and listens to him like she knows just what he is saying. Then she comes over and kisses my hand (her new thing) and says "I love you Mommy."
And I forget all about pulling my hair out.
Then Bean does something that make the Man Child laugh. Not chuckle or giggle, but full on belly laugh! I mean my fat little baby sits there waving his arms up and down guffawing! So stinking cute...
And I forget about being alone.
I can not imagine my life without them in it. I don't want to drop them off for a long day at a job that probably wouldn't pay me enough any way. But I do really want Wade-O home so that when I start to feel overwhelmed I have to option of going somewhere alone. Even if it is just to the shower without the worry that I'll have to get out mid shampoo if someone starts crying.

Because Nothing is Sweeter.

Few things are as adorable as when new babies sleep like this.
Fists tight, arms perfectly flopped open, head in profile like an Egyptian portrait.

And HELLO, a 2 year old who willingly naps so Mommy can take a shower?
Priceless!

Circumcision Is Wrong.

I know, I said the same thing as my facebook status but I just can't stop thinking about it. Even though he will not be like his father, we chose to keep Zen intact. He was a healthy, perfect baby boy and we would not put him thru such a horrible thing in his first days. But Joshua died because he was sick and his parents wanted to cut him anyway. The doctors told them that he would be fine, do it sooner rather than later to prevent bleeding they said. Well, the doctor 'nicked' an artery and the poor baby with a heart condition bleed to death. An infant only needs to loose 2.3 ounces of blood to die of blood loss. That isn't very much at all. The doctors are saying that the circ had nothing to do with this baby's death but they also said he was doing as fine as could be considered for his condition. Please stop doing this to our boys.

copy the link below to read his mothers blog








fierceandfiesty.blogspot.com

These Are A Few of My Favorite Things!!!

This is a picture of the frustrating cowl I'm working on for Melinda. And if you look closely you can see the Man Child's head poking out of my bathrobe. TeeHee. My robe works as a make-shift skin to skin carrier for him so I can do things... like knit!- when he's a little fussy. I just got a new knitting book called Domiknitrix, I haven't started any knew project from it yet, but I love the beginning section, I love the way she (Jennifer Stafford) talks about knitting. Some of her explanations of the stitches aren't very good but the patterns look fun and the lady at the Mendocino Yarn Shop said shes gotten good reviews. The pattern for the cowl is from Handmade Underground Knitwear by Laura Long and Melissa Halvorson. Now, although I like the patterns and the way my projects have turned out thus far, the way they are written and almost all the explanations of stitches suck. I am not a very good knitter so I really rely on the explanations in my books and these ones are so hard to figure out, I figured most things out but the way they showed the Kitchener stitch got me soooo confused a ruined one of my first hat! Luckily for me the lady at the MYS is amazing. She showed me very thoroughly how to do the stitch flawlessly.

Here is a picture of Man Child sleeping next to my knitting things. He has been so amazing. He sleeps, he eats, he poops. It is amazing how quickly you learn to see with your feet when you walk around your house starring into the eyes of your baby. 

J Dub is back and KaBean is in seventh heaven. "Daddy, juice. Daddy, I wanna watch a movie. Daddy, come rub my back!!!" And boy does he jump. I love that he is here, today was the first time in a while I've been able to sit and knit. I got 2 whole rows done!