The Third Anniversary of My Daughter's Birth

Three years ago yesterday...
- the doctors hooked me up to a machine and told me I was contracting. "No, I'm not." said I.
- your Daddy and I went home to see grandma Paula and finish our packing for the hospital.

Three years ago this morning...
- at exactly 12 am, the first contraction hit like a fast ball to my tummy. We waited to see if the cantractions were coming regularly or if this was just a tease. They were regular and fast. We left for the hospital, I was calmer than your Daddy but he still drove like a bat out of hell, we didn't want to have you in the car.
-we got to the hospital and checked in. We saw the triage nurse who checked me and told me I was far enough along to stay. "Yeah, no kidding. This shit hurts and I am NOT going back home and coming BACK in the car!"
-we got our room which was surprisingly nice and they made me put on a stupid gown. They let your dad and I wander the halls of the birth wing and vocalize while I was in labor and transitioning. They kept checking me, I'd have to stop walking and moving so they could lay me down and see how dilated I was.
-I got to take a few showers and then they made me lay down on my back. They told me when I could and couldn't push. But I didn't listen.

At 8:30 am on December 11th, 2007 I pushed you out into the world. I couldn't belive I had done it. As soon as Daddy placed you in my arms I was in love. You changed my life in three hundred and fifty thousand wonderful and magical ways. At this 3 year anniversary of your birth, the first time I brought new life to this Earth, I have asked my self where I would be if I had made a different choice somewhere on my path. Every time I look back, I cannot find the choice I would change that would deprive me of you. You were two, and very hard to be with sometimes. We would fight, you would yell, I would yell, we would have tantrums. Then, inexplicably you would run of laughing, "I love you Mommy!!!"
Now you are three and I don't think things will change very fast. You will be willful and temperamental. You will be rough with The Man Child. But you will be helpful and eager and curious. You will be gentle with your brother. And then you will be four and I will miss my little 3 year old.
I love you and I would never change the choices I made that led me to you. You are the reason I get out of bed in the morning and the reason I don't stay up all night blogging and knitting.
I love you.

Your first ride home. I was sooo impressed by the fact that I
could give birth and that you were the result of my effort.

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