Our love is different. It is different than it was the day we met. We both felt it but couldn't label it. It was new. It was right. It was a strong bond that was more friendship than lust. Then it became lust. and it was amazing. And we knew. For a few months, maybe even a year, we knew but said nothing. Then, one night while lying in the Van, we pledged our love to one another. And it was different. It was still new. It was even more right. We became partners. In life, in love. Then we decided to have kids. To bring life into our partnership. Maybe in a year or 2. When his career was bigger. But she came, right away, into our union with no warning. Even living on a bus making no money we knew she was right on time. 1+1=3. And our love grew and changed. It was different. Now our love was weary. It was worried and stressed out. But it was still ours. and it was still right. The lust left. completely. Our love became friendly. We could talk about everything, but not touch each other. it was my fault. I felt ugly and fat and gross. My body had just given birth and I didn't know how to embrace that, so I felt untouchable. Our love endured. He started traveling. a lot. Our love changed. It was different. It was stretched thin and fragile. I almost broke it. But it stayed. And we mended it. and made it stronger. We were best friends. Ever trusting in one another's ability to return. Then we thought, maybe Baby #2. in a year or 2. But he came. adding his little soul to our unit. Embracing us as we welcomed him into our living room. He saw me give birth, all by myself. He saw my power and helped me embrace it. Our love changed. It became stronger. Our friendship and trust became so great it exploded back into new love and the lust returned. And so it is different. And then he had to go. He had to work to put bread and bacon sandwiches on the table. He had to go away to get the money we (sadly) need to live in this world. But after years of not wanting to be touched my body misses his and I wish it was he who shared this bed rather than the nursling beside me.
Our love is different. Every time I turn around, it changes. Our relationship will continue to grow and morph in way I can't imagine. The love we share is not bound by societal norms. It is not forced to conform to your idea of marriage. We will not let the government dictate how we will live together and raise our children. We will trust in each other to always be honest and genuine in our dealings with one another. even if it hurts. There will be twists and turns. There will be repairs, and mending. and explosions. The only thing that is certain is that I would never trade these years of love that we have shared for anything.
I love you.