2.04.2011

Totally Uninspired... Until Today

I live in a world of financial uncertainty. I live in a home without a regular co-parent. I am in a relationship that has spanned the state, the continent, even oceans. I have a fridge and cupboards that are very seldom full. I am behind on rent, and bills and have no car insurance.
I have been very depressed and ill thinking about these... obstacles. I have been unmoved by my children's cries for attention because my head is swirling with the need to solve my families problems. But over the past week and a few days I have encountered such love and support that has blown me away. The women in my life that love me and my children have been so amazing these dark days. (Tuesday) I truly thought I had hit rock bottom when one friend had me over for tea. Just a simple moment of rest while she held the Man Child and we sipped her favorite winter blend out of matching cups. (Thursday) An amazing hike-with-babes on what might be my new favorite walking place with dear Raintree. We walked up the Big River haul road and looked back over the river to the ocean and marveled at the blessed place we are so fortunate to live in. (Saturday) One of my dearest and oldest friends came out of nowhere (ok, a surprise trip home from the city for a family thing but still) to show up on my door step when I needed her most. And she had cookies. Home made cookies. Home made by her mom cookies. Yeah, you wish you had a friend like that. Then she cleaned my kitchen. Her kindness and love left me in tears. I'm actually tearing up thinking about how much her visit meant to me. -my kitchen is still clean- (Sunday) A light night visitor with eclairs. And a light mood. Yeah, I have friends who just show up with baked goods. What? (Monday) A late night tea with my tea friend. She needed a space and a power cord and I happened to have both. Sometimes company and another person in your home is all you need to go to bed happy. and more tea. (Wednesday) An amazing surprise trip with the kiddlets to see a very dear friend I thought I had lost. We weren't able to talk much because of a beautiful pit bull and Bean but just being in her presence made my spirit feel a little less crushed. And finally, today- back with Miss Raintree at Big River. We stayed on the beach this time because the tide was way in when we got there and we saw seals and otters playing right in the river. And Bean really wanted to play on the beach. It was such and amazing day. I think it really helped cap off this week of pain and sadness and healing.
What I have realized over the past few days thinking back on my women friends and the little-huge ways they all helped me thru, is that are more ways to love people than just the sexual mate love or the fruit-of-my-loin mother/father/child love. There is a great and powerful women love that few women are allowed to realize. I love these women who have touched my life. The ones I have know for what seams like forever but really just since grade school. The one who helped deliver my son and encouraged me to ba as strong as I am. The one who's family has a whole different set of problems and struggles than mine but can still commiserate and lend a shoulder to lean (or sob) on. Every woman in this world needs her friends close to her. She needs a group, not just one or two but a whole group, that she can rely on. She needs to be that to her friends too. Like baking crazy dietary cookies in the middle of the night because she just knows that they will make someone's whole week better when delivered first thing in the morning. Or answering the phone to listen about single life drama in the city- weekly soap opera updates! umm yay! Or reassuring her mom friend that "you are a great mother and don't let any one tell you otherwise!"
Take the time in your life to think of the women closest to you and thank them or help them because we are stronger together.

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