Still No Baby

Nope, it is true, there is still no new baby at my house, but that's OK. My dear, dear friend Natalie is coming to stay with us a while to help me finish getting some of the more tedious things done, so hopefully everything will be clean and ready when this little guy is ready to come out.

J Wizzle is home, that makes everything in life waaaayyyy better, though we did get off to a bit of a rough start. Now that he is home and settled in, he is helpful and great and loving. He still gets snappy with me and K Bean if she needs something at night and I declare that I am not about to get my huge ass out of bed. But he gets up and does his best (which is pretty darn great) to take care of her. Today he made breakfast and let me sleep till noon!

We had another appointment with the midwives today, I grew 1 1/2 inches since last Friday! Oh I hope this kid isn't too huge. They said everything looks great and on track so I should just hang in there and wait it out. I'm still going to walk 3 or 4 miles tomorrow, in hopes that that will speed things up a bit. I didn't walk today, I needed to give my legs a rest.

I finished the yellow hat I started about a week, week and a half ago. I did it with the wrong sized needles so it turned out to small for my mom, but looks adorable on K Bean's little head, so she gets it. I also learned how to knit on double pointed needles, which turned out to be way easier than I thought! The ladies at the Mendocino Yarn Shop are sooo great and helpful, they helped answer all of my silly knitting problems, got me the stuff I need, and sent me on my way. So Jodi's hat should be done in no time at all, then I can start something new! yay!


Exciting News! and My Baby Girl's Birth Story... or parts of it anyway.

The first thing is way awesome, the second thing kinda sucks and the third thing is K Bean's birth story. I thought I should write it out before it gets all blended up with Baby Brother's.

After weeks of putting it off and watching things get grosser and grosser, I finally cleaned my bathroom. That is my Sunday Room-to-Clean on my new clean house chart. I got it done and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be... OK, yes it was. It was waaayyy gross. But I did it anyhow. The floor, the window, the blinds even! the mirror, sink and toilet, and even the shower! I even reorganized the shelves and brought in a new cart-ish thing to store towels and the like. Yay.
And to day, I finally started the kitchen. This will be a big project because not only are there 3 or 4 days worth of dishes in the sink, to K Bean 'helped' by turning her lunch into 'lotion' then dropping the yogurt covered tray on the floor. So hopefully today, I will finish the dishes, clean the counters and get the floor mopped and shiny. I really want to reorganize the shelves in here too so we'll see how far I get.
Oh, and I gave K Bean a hair cut! She looks sooo darn cute.
Oh, aaannnddd J Dub comes home today! Yay!

In case I haven't said anything about it in the blog so far- this baby moves around a lot. I mean all the time, this fetus is never still. His most active times of day are, of course, nap time and bedtime. And he always plays back when I move hes foot or poke some part of him that is sticking out. Well, yesterday, K and I were playing and she kicked me pretty hard in the upper tummy, where his feet would be. So all day yesterday, I payed close attention to his movements and found that he wasn't moving nearly as much as I thought he should be. When I laid down next to KBean to go to sleep (at 11pm) the little man in my belly wasn't moving at all... so, I called one of my midwives to ask her what she thought I should do. She had me go to the hospital to get a 'Non-Stress Test'. Not very non-stressful. My friends hubby came to sit with K and I sped all 10 blocks to the hospital. My midwife must have called to say was coming because the emergency room door burst open when the night guy (a super super nice dude with a great and reassuring smile) saw me. He sent me right back to the birth wing, which I had nooo idea where it was having never been there before. The nurse was ready for me and I was weighed, pee tested, and hooked up to the machine in like 5 minutes! As soon as she had the heartbeat monitor in place, and I could hear the little thumping, I knew everything was fine. But she had me stay hooked up for 20 minutes, that is how long the test takes, and she checked me every 5. Needless to say, Baby Brother is fine, lots of movement, just a clam kind of day, I guess... The exciting news was that while I was sitting there, I had 2 contractions!... OK, well, I didn't feel them, but still, 2 contractions! He'll be here soon, I just know it!

Now on to K Bean's story... First of all, she was 6 days past her so called 'Due Date' and our Dr. in Georgia had us go to a specialist at the hospital for the same test. Once again, everything was fine. The nurse kept trying to tell me I was contracting, I guess a ton of little ones, but I couldn't feel them. They sent us home and said 'If anything changes come to the hospital right away.' So we went home. J Wizzle and I both figured if I was contracting already then today would be our last day to really get things in order. So we spent the rest of our day cleaning and organizing and making phone calls, all that stuff that gets put off till the last moment anyway. We didn't start getting ready for bed till around midnight. That's when I had my first real contraction. We had a hella busy day and now I was in for a sleepless night of birthing my daughter. Great. We already had the bag and the car seat in the car so J Dub drove us the 26 minutes to the hospital. We had already registered, some pre-reg thing to make check in go faster. The triage nurse took us right away and was pretty cool, she did all the initial checking and poking around and whatever it is that they do and sent us to our room. I labored for 8 hours but have no idea how long I had to push for. At this point it all seems the same. At some point I declared I was done and didn't care what had to happen, just get her out of me!!! I don't remember the Dr. coming in but she was just like my mom, she told me to stop whining and push, that my birth plan said no forceps or things like that and that was how we would it! I told her to reach in and grab the baby by the ears, no tools needed. Isn't that how they do cows? Anyway, after much, much, yelling, the Doctor and J Dub were looking at a little purple monkey and telling me to push one more time, for the placenta. WTF? No one said that shit has to come out separately! Any way they took K Bean to run all those first-day-on-earth tests and she was perfect. The couch in the recovery room was way too short for my poor man and his poor back could only take so much.Since the baby Bean and I were doing fine, nursing and sleeping and peeing and all that, J Dub and I decided we should leave. So we did. We practically had to fight our way out, the hospital didn't want us to go. But we both hate hospitals and were very adamant about leaving so after signing away all types of disclaimers we got to go home...
And she grew, and now shes 2 and amazing and that is how it went. I bet J Dub remembers things differently but between the 2 of us, I think we have it pretty down.


Best Part of My Day...

I think my most favorite thing all day has to be the few precious moment when K Bean is still in a good mood before she crashes at bedtime. She is always so adorable then and tonight was no exception. We were sitting on the couch talking about life and she just had sooo much to tell me. We talked about baby brother being born soon and how she would have to be gentle at first because he would be so small, "teeny tiny" as she put it. But she was really just excited to "play wit him." I told her sometimes mommy might be very tired and she would have to spend a lot of time with Grandma or Daddy and she got very excited about that one. We sat and talked about her school and about her puppy, Charlie (one of those large beanie babies that I had when I was a kid). She told me all about the time she stepped on a bear and didn't even hurt her foot! It was really relaxing until I mentioned brushing her teeth, then all hell broke lose! But we got those little teeth clean and sent her off to bed. Where she promptly shed all her clothes and refused to put on the only diaper of her day, the night time diaper. She isn't even 3 yet and already she can go through the day, from school to errands to the sitter to Grandmas, without an accident! I'm sooo proud of her! But when she pees on my fresh made bed at nap time! that is when I tell her she has to sleep on the couch from now on! But naturally, that never happens so she is back in my bed, asleep on a clean blanket waiting for Daddy to come home.


Some Stuff Done, Still More to Come

Every time I think I have a handle on the To-Do list, it seems to get longer.

The good news is that I got all the laundry done despite having a broken dryer. I did have to take it all to my mom's house and use her appliances, but that is ok with me, I think it go done faster that way. I hung the belly cast just to get it out of the way but it still needs to be primed and decorated... I figured we could all do that as a family when J Dub gets home and this baby is finally born. The rug in the living room still needs to be laid out and both that and the carpet in the bedroom need to be cleaned while I still have mom and dad's steam vac. I need to do it soon because once I return that I can borrow the sewing machine and make my curtains. I finally laid out a cleaning schedule so I don't get so overwhelmed everyday when I wake up and realize my house is a pigsty.

Hopefully, getting the cleaning part of homemaking down will inspire and help me get to the cooking part. The ideal for our family is good home cooked, mostly vegan meals at least twice a day. There is an amazing grocery store here that has great sales on all types of organic, gluten free, or vegan packaged goods but I need to start cooking things from scratch too. I have a great collection of vegan and gluten free cookbooks, the recipes I have tried have all turned out well, and I enjoyed making them. But something always stops me from doing it on a regular basis. Usually it is the fact that my sink is still full of dishes from yesterday, or even a few days before! I don't want K Bean to grow up loving prepackaged, over processed foods, but she will if I don't change my act soon. Even organic gluten free cereal bars are still over processed products of the food industry.

Tomorrow my midwives come to check up on the little guy in my belly and make sure he isn't running out of room. I have a lot to do in the morning before they get here. Goodnight!


Yay! Stuff...

First of all, despite not being able to figure out this grafting thing, I've started a new knitting project. A little beret with cables and twists and I think once again I am in way over my head. But I 12 rows in and over 900 stitches. I know it isn't really that much, but it seems like a lot to me!

So today, after I finish writing, I have a ton of stuff to do. Laundry, laundry, make the bed, clean the kitchen, walk the dog... and the 2 year old, laundry, sort baby bros clothes, make the curtains, hang the belly on the wall... oh and find time for lunch and dinner! It'll be a busy day... I'ma get to it. See ya'll later!!!

Oh just kidding! Last night I got to take K Bean to her first professional dance performance. The Mendocino Music Festival hosted a pretty good company and K Bean did a really good job watching it. We almost had to take her out at one point but she pulled herself together and watched the rest of the show in my lap. I didn't grab a program and I can't remember who the company was or where they were from, lame right? I had a hard time with some of the choreography, it was like someone didn't get it. It could have been the dancers or even the choreographer who didn't understand his own goal but it just seamed unrealized. All of the dancers were amazing but the costumes were stupid and the movement unfulfilled. Oh well. Maybe next time. Now, that's all.


What's with Today, Today?

WOW! Today was a really productive day! I feel like I really got a bunch of stuff done. Not really to do with the upcoming birth... but, still a lot of stuff. We woke up and did a belly cast in our living room, where we will be having the baby. It started out a little bumpy, J Dub and I weren't really on the same page. It was his idea, but he thought we'd do it at my mom's house with her help and him just watching. I thought he really wanted to do it, but he isn't really crafty so I shoulda guessed. After some bickering we got to the part where we actually put the cast on my belly, it was very slimy and wet and fun! J Dub got really into it and it ended up being really romantic. So now we have a beautiful cast of my prego belly drying in the laundry room and as soon as it is dry, I will hang it and post pics.
I also managed to go to my mom's house and borrow the carpet cleaner and get a ton of new yarn. I measured the window for the living room and went to the fabric store to find curtains. Which I found, but I have to pick them up tomorrow, oh! along with the new crib mattress. I went to the plant nursery to find out how to take care of my new plants. That went well, hopefully I wont kill them like all my other house plants... And then Jamie came over and tried to help me figure out how to finish the hat I've been working on since Christmas. We didn't figure it out but it was really nice to work on it. I'll post pics of that later too and if anyone knows the Kitchener stitch aka grafting knitting, let me know. I just can't figure it out!
Now I am going to pick a new pattern and start a new project. I feel like knitting!



So, I've been doing a ton of reading about nursing and co-sleeping and baby wearing and apparently with all that comes the circ. debate.  There is more and more research to suggest that it is an unnecessary cosmetic surgery.  America is really the only place that does it just because! Lame sauce right?  People will say, 'oh it prevents HIV' not true... 'oh, it looks better' bitch, why are you thinking about your sons penis in a sexual way!? I think if more women saw porn with intact wieners that would no longer be a concern! lol. Turns out that keeping the foreskin intact can actually help prevent urinary tract infections in baby boys.  It seems to me that if you were born with it, it might be useful for something... yeah?

Long story short, we have decided not cut off this babies foreskin. YAY!


Yay! Preparations!

Things are coming together. We got a bunch of stuff off our really long list... still no bendy straws though! Not to get side tracked but! I will be boycotting the bendy straws until someone tells me why I need them! I had to get a CLEAN garden hose to fill the tub. And a sink- hose attachment... Oh man. Now I just need to keep the house in a constant state of readiness, keep the living room picked up and clean, and keep the dog hair to a minimum. Having J Wizzle at home has been amazing, for both me and K Bean. But as usual he will be leaving again soon, hopefully to be back in time for the birth. I mean, if he misses it, I will have to kill him! LOL.

We still haven't decided what to do with the placenta. We most definitely will NOT be cooking it and eating it. gross. But maybe we will bury it in my mom's yard and plant a tree over it, or something. I mean that is really the only thing I can think of that isn't super gross. Apparently, people dry it out and save it or they eat it or... well I don't know what you would do with something like that but the idea of it getting treated as bio hazard medical waste makes me a little sad. Hey, that is the thing that kept my baby alive in there! It isn't waste! But it is sorta gross...

Home Birth Preparations

I had no idea how much I needed to do to get ready to have my baby at home. When we had K Bean at the hospital all we needed to do was get our bag packed and show up. But to have the baby at home there is a whole list of things I will either need to buy, borrow or find. Today, my midwives dropped off the birth pool and a long list of things that would be needed, like trash bags, clean sheets, a large Tupperware... bendy straws! Why am I going to need bendy straws? WTF? I mean this list is over 30 things long. But, I will have most of it ready, so the day when this little man comes to stay, all will be ready for him. We already sleep with his blanket and his first outfit so our smell is on it. We have the tub and the tub liner. We've cleaned and rearranged the house. I got house plants and flowers and candles... Tomorrow, J Dub and I will prioritize the list and start chiseling it down. Most of his clothes are still at my mom's house, unwashed. But we do have a good 2 day supply of cloth diapers -also unwashed- but at least they are close to being ready to go.

I am really starting to freak out about this whole not-at-the-hospital thing. I like to tell myself that it will all be fine, that the only thing about the hospital is I will be more tempted to want drugs, the only way I will be able to welcome this child the way I, and J Dub, want to is to do it at home. Besides, the Bragg hospital is only 3 minutes from our house and is so low tech that if anything went truly wrong they wouldn't be able to stop it and we'd still have to be air-lifted to Santa Rosa. J Wizzle shows no fear. He says he knows I can do it. I know I can do it too, but it is still hella scary! He is so excited to meet his son. He has a name picked out, which I like, but haven't quite latched onto.

J Dub works so hard so he can be home with his family, but still be off making money. I love him, he is really amazing!


Back From Camping, On With Life

Yay!!! We had a blast camping up at Standish Hickey State Park. K Bean was soo good, she had a great time swimming in the river and even hiking! We all got really dirty and sunburned and eaten up by those damn pesky mosquitoes! The weather was perfect so we did have to battle all the hordes of jerks coming up from the cities, but the nights never got cold and the days stayed bright and sunny!

Now it is back to real life. Our baby son is due in 3 weeks and we really want a home birth. The only catch is that we still live in the teeny tiny place with no yard. We plan on doing it here but that will require moving all our furniture and re-arranging everything! All the toys have to be sorted through, some into storage, some to Paul Bunyan (our Goodwill), some we will keep in the house for K Bean to play with while we wait. There is so much work to be done and I really want it to be done by Friday morning. That's when the midwives come for a house visit and to drop off the birth tub. I'm beginning to feel the excitement of the new arrival. The nesting thing is really starting to kick in and all I want to do is organize and fold and re-fold all the little boy clothes my family and friends gave me at our baby shower. More on the preparations later, right now I'm going to play with K Bean!


Vegan Muffins!

Yay! Last night I successfully completed the Garden of Vegan's Apple Streusel Muffins for my hubby. They turned out a little too moist for my tastes but then i did make them at midnight. J Dub had to stay up hella late to finish editing his new video for ATL.A.

Now we all have to get packed for camping with a prego and a 2 year old.

But first onto 35 weeks prego ballet class!


My Hubby on Stage with dead prez in Paris

Yay! So my man is doing a ton of video work for the hip hop group dead prez. They were in France for just a day and performed at a huge festival in front of this really cool church. They got to use the inside as the backstage. So cool. When the kids are bigger we'll get to go along too and then these posts will be about traveling with vegan kids thru out the world!

good times

Well J Dub is home. But only for... 10 days. 4 of which we will be camping. That leaves us 6 to get our shit together and find a new home. Or get this one all the way ready for a new baby. But a husband who is 6 foot 6, a very hyper dog, an amazingly "helpful" 2 year old, a new born baby and me might be too many people in not enough space. We currently have one bedroom, one bathroom with no tub, one mid-sized kitchen, one living room and one closet. Thats it, no yard, no office for my work from home hubby, no real storage. To say the least, we're cramped.

As of today, I've decided that I don't really care that no one reads this blog. Writing it at the end of the day makes me feel better.

I think tomorrow I might make some vegan apple muffins. If I can get my kitchen cleaned and K Bean to day care on time. I'm planning another walk with my mom and Isis, my beloved mini lab. The haul road is long and flat and right be the ocean, the perfect place to stroll. Hopefully I don't have any Braxton Hicks again. Those are pretty awful!

By the way it is Nurse In Public week. Or something like that. While K Bean and I no longer nurse, she weaned herself (sad) at 14 months, I fully support all NIP mothers. It makes me happy to see the moms out there who have no problem with it or with what others think. In my community NIP is normal. Most moms I know nurse all over the place, I grew up not even thinking about it. When J Dub and I moved to Georgia and had our first baby and I wanted to nurse I realized that what we do in small town California might not be 'normal.' Huh? I didn't let that stop me or discourage me. I have an amazing partner who supported me through the whole process, even when I declared I wanted to nurse till she was at least 2. His mother thought I was wrong and we were the only family at our ped office who were exclusively breast feeding. But he stood by me. When his clients came to our house for meetings he supported me feeding our daughter in the living room where they could see and if they didn't like it they could go in the office and close the door. I've nursed in the recording studio where outkast recorded some of their first hits. I've nursed in front of gang bangers and the Children of Black Panthers... I am by the way, a white girl. When my next baby is born next month I will proudly nurse him whenever and wherever he needs it. Yay Boobies!!!!


Best Birthday Ever!

Best 'insert holiday here' Ever! is an old family tradition. Every year at every holiday somebody will declare that this is the best one ever. My dad usually does Christmas but the rest of us will faithfully chime in, laughing and agreeing and enjoying being with family. But this year, I had a truly amazing birthday. Generally, I don't really enjoy this annual celebration of my entrance into this would. Of coarse I love getting gifts, but the whole party thing and the cakes and the reminder that you are getting old(er) sort of just depress me. They always have, even as a young girl. It can't help that having a birthday the day before the 4th of July means most of your friends will be out of town either. 
I think there have been a few that were wonderful and this year slips into that list, not as awesome as my 20th in France with my ballet company, or my 18th in England with total strangers who went out of their way to make me feel loved and celebrated but up there none-the-less. My 2 year old daughter is a priceless miracle who told me she loved me allll day long. I'm 35 weeks pregnant with my son and everything is going swimmingly. My husband and I are speaking to each other again and he's going to come home for 10 days tomorrow, and he sent me flowers! My mom and dad got me a gift certificate for an hour long massage at an amazing local spa. AND I got to take a 4 hour birthday nap! I don't really know what makes a birthday great, maybe this years was good because it was so mellow. There was no expectation of an embarrassing party. No little girl sad because her friends didn't call (facebook is amazing, everybody emailed or left a comment). Maybe it was the nap. I don't know what it was but today, the day after, when I usually don't want to be alive felt great. And I had my little love at my side all day.



Today I am fighting with my man, long distance. We are about to have our second child together and I have only seen him a total of maybe 2 months thru out this whole pregnancy! A TOTAL of 2 months. I think the longest stretch of time he's been home has bee 3 weeks, every other time we see him it is for a few days, a week at most. I realize he can't make any money or continue his career in the Bragg, I knew this when we chose to move here. But he doesn't seem to be making any progress. Now I'm pissed because instead of trying to complete the credit info for a rental application he went out and did a video for free for one of his homies in LA. WTF mate?!?! Doing this stuff for free for no name artists will get you and your career nowhere and meanwhile your family is up here eating thru the savings and still living in this teeny tiny little duplex! Get your self together and either come home or do what you said you were gonna do! grr.......

here is a video that he made that I really like


Today was a good day. I got a ton of stuff done! K Bean got off to daycare with no problems, she even helped pick up her toys while I packed her lunch. Although as I type this, I realize we forgot to brush her teeth this morning. She did brush them before bed though. While she was at "skew" I walked the dog with my mom on the haul road, went to 2 different places to pay bills, went to the bank, got my baby shower invites and thank yous, and took a nap! All before a healthy lunch at 1:30. Oh and I remembered to take my iron AND prenatal vitamins! (So proud of myself)
Even though I still have 5 weeks left until my EDD, I totally thought I was going into labour this morning when I was walking. I was starting to feel heavy contractions low in my belly and all the way around to my back. I almost panicked because we were pretty far out from where we left our cars and I really thought these were real contractions. When we made it back to the parking lot, I called one of my midwives and asked how to tell the difference between "oh my god, I'm about to have my baby on the beach" and Braxton Hicks contractions. She said it is all in the timing. If you have more than 4 in an hour that indicates that you are indeed going into labour but if it is only 1 or 2, no matter how strong they feel, then it is bx and to just breath "you will be fine." She was right, of coarse, and after sitting in the car for a minute with my dog looking at me funny and my mom already gone off to her first day at work, I was able to get on with my busy day.
I also managed to get a bunch of the junk out of my car and get most of the kitchen cleaned before getting K Bean from daycare. And I did a ton of laundry! yay for me.
She is now asleep beside me, because her crib is full of clean, un-folded laundry and I like the way she smells... and snores.